I'm Not What I Seem [COMPLETED]

Chapter 25

Clary POV

"You mean there's an explanation to you talking to a Ouija board and saying how you've killed people?" Jace asks with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes?" I say weakly. "Look, I will tell you everything. You just need to do one thing." I walk to him and lightly take his hand. "Listen."

He nods and I lead him to the bed where we sit down. I then remember the door and quickly go to shut it before I sit down with him again. I sigh as I look at my hands. "Three years ago, when I first moved to Chicago, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. They introduced me to drugs and sex and over drinking. With them, I got into so much trouble, but they always got me out of it. We were like an unstoppable team." I take another deep breath before looking at Jace. "Then, July 21 came.

"We had went out and gotten high of our asses and were just being being delinquents wherever we could. We were hanging out in this alley when Aline and some others showed up. They had somehow gotten a gun off of a sleeping police officer and brought it with them to the alley. I got all excited and rushed to start messing around with it. Then, he came.

"We called him Stiff because, well, because he was a stiff. He was bugging us and we wanted him to just go away. He freaked out when he saw the gun and I told him to relax. I thought the gun was on safety so I thought I'd show him by pulling the trigger." I take a shaky breath seeing as tears are now streaming from my eyes over my cheeks. "But the gun wasn't on safety," I choke out. "The gun fired and that man dropped dead right there."

Jace looks at me with a shocked face. "Wait, what?"

"You need to know it was an accident. You have to know that I had no intention of that man dying. I genuinely thought the gun was on safety and I wanted to show him that so he would leave us alone," I sob into my hands, my voice muffling slightly.

"Is this why you ran away?" Jace asks, his voice revealing he was still processing everything.

I nod slightly. "That night, Mark had been recording with some crap video camera. I thought he deleted the video but he hadn't. He was using it to blackmail me. The only way to escape it and still keep you all safe was to run away. Then, when I finally came back, I knew one of us had to be dead for this to be completely over. So, I got him drunk off his ass, took him to The Lookout, and indirectly made him walk off the edge." Realization hits me. "Oh my god. I'm a murderer."

At this I feel Jace bring me into his arms. "Don't. Don't you dare say that Clarissa Adele Morgenstern."

"But it's true," I choke out. "I murdered two people. Two people are dead because of me." Jace's lips find their way to my temple.

"What if you explained. Told the cops you didn't mean to kill him. That it was all an accident," Jace suggests.

"That may have worked three years ago, but not now. They'll lock me up simply because of how long I withheld it." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Besides, what do I tell them? 'I was high on marijuana and thought the gun my friend stole from a cop was on safety so I pointed it at a guy's head and pulled the trigger'?" I shake my head. "No, I need to disappear. For good this time."

"Will you at least tell me where you're going this time? So I can find you after graduation," Jace asks hopefully.

"You won't be able to follow me here. Not for a while hopefully," I say lowly.

Realization spreads across his face as he holds me tighter. "No. You are not going to do this Clary. You can't."

"I have to! It's the only way!" I fire back.

He shakes his head. "There has to be another way!"

"There isn't Jace! Don't you get it!? I have to bring this man justice and me living is too good of a consequence. I need to know what he felt. I need to feel what he felt." I look him straight in the face. "There is nothing you can do to stop me."

He looks at me in silence for a few minutes before he sighs. "If there's nothing you can do to talk you out of it, then I'm coming with you," he says with confidence.

"What? Jace you can't. I don't know what you think I meant, but my plan is to literally put a bullet through my brain," I say with worry seeping through me.

"Then I guess you'll just have to think of something else. Because wherever you go, I go," he says smirking, knowing I'd never do anything to deliberately harm him. "And nothing you do can change my mind."

I give in and we spend the next hour trying to figure out what to do and all of that shit. Once we have it all figured out, I change into comfier clothes and grab my motorcycle keys. I leave the room, Jace following closely behind me. We get onto the back of my motorcycle and drive. I drive over the Brooklyn Bridge and away from the city. Once we're far enough away, I stop at a cliff so we can see the city we were born in one last time, seeing as we'll never be here ever again.

We walk to the edge, Jace's arm securely around my waist, and we stand in silence as we look at the brilliant city one last time. We stand there for hours, comforted by the other's presence. By the time I speak again, the sun is starting to come up.

"You don't have to do this. You have so much going for you in life--school, a family who loves you, friends who you're so happy with. Why would you give it all up for me?" I ask with a slight tremble in my voice.

"Don't you get it, Clary?" He takes my chin and moves it so my emerald green eyes meet with his brilliant golden brown ones. "I have always loved you, from the day I figured out you were pregnant to the day you showed up again. I'll get over everything I've left behind because I know that no, matter what, I'll always love you Clarissa Adele Morgenstern."

Slow tears are flowing down my cheeks. "I will always love you too, Jonathan Christopher Herondale."

He takes me be the waist and smashes his lips onto mine. I savor the kiss and use it to make up for everything. All the running, all the lying, all the secrets--it's all washed away by this kiss. I lock my hands around his neck and deepen the kiss. His hands run through my hair as they make their way to my waist again. We stay like that for what feels like forever.

When it comes to an end, like all good things, we hold hands as we watch the city wake up. "What do we do now?" Jace asks.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. When I open them again, I say two simple words.

"We jump."

And we do.

AN

Epilogue is next😊

If you couldn't tell the end by the music video, shame on you.

You may vent about how much you hate me right now...

HERE

Have a nice evening 😊

Bella