I'm Not What I Seem [COMPLETED]

Chapter 4

Clary POV

"Clarissa!" my dad yells from downstairs.

"Yeah, Dad?" I call back looking up from my sketchbook. Ever since the whole Jace thing a week ago, I've been drawing out of panic. You could be pregnant. The thought keeps running through my head. I can't get pregnant at sixteen. Jace probably wouldn't care and tell me to abort or something.

I barely register when my dad yells back, "I've got done work to do. I'll be back sometime tonight." I sigh slightly. 'Work' for him is making sure his newest shipment of drugs has come in. He doesn't even do them, just deals them. But hey, that's how I get my weed.

As time drags on, I can't help but get anxious. My period's due any day now, but I can't wait for it to start. I groan and stand up grabbing my keys and helmet. I can't do this. I'm going to Walgreens to put my nerves to rest.

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On Monday I throw on some ripped skinny jeans ,a Fall Out Boy 'American Beauty American Psycho' t shirt, and a gray zip up sweatshirt along with black vans before I start towards school. As I ride, I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. When I hit a red light, I check it and see 'Missed Call: Unknown' on the phone and roll my eyes. My mom seems to think trying to call me 24/7 makes up for her abandoning me six years ago. Well, fuck that.

As soon as the light goes green I race off to school. Once I get to the lot and park, I race inside hoping to not see Jace.

"Hey Clary!" Cecily yells and motions me over. She's smiling like crazy and so is Gabriel who has his arm around her waist.

I slowly make my way over wondering what she could want. "Yeah Cecily?"

"Jace was looking for you earlier. He wouldn't say what he wanted, but it seemed important," she says simply and I'm pretty sure I flush. Her eyebrows furrow together. "Are you okay Clary? You look really pale. "

I shake my head a little ignoring their concerned looks. "Uh, yeah. I'm good. Thanks Cecy." I leave at that. Hurrying down the hall, I barely notice Izzy come up beside me.

"Training for a marathon or something?" Iz asks as I come to a stop. I nod a little but don't say anything. She raises an eyebrow and says, "You know, I've been thinking of becoming a prostitute."

"Mhm."

"And then I'm going to use the money to get drugs and hire some hookers of my own."

"Yeah, yeah."

"And then I'm going to rob the biggest bank in the country single handedly to hire more."

"That's nice Iz."

She slams my locker door closed and I jump. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!"

"Jeez, sorry," I say as I reopen the locker and grab my stuff. "I've been distracted lately."

"Mhm. Why have you been so distracted lately?" Izzy asks with an eyebrow raised and a curious look on her face.

I sigh and turn to her and give her part of the truth. No way am I telling her I slept with Jace. "You know how I told you all my mom hasn't tried contacting me in six years ever since the divorce?" Isabelle nods and I take a deep breath. "Well, she got my number somehow and called me last week. I basically told her to fuck off, but she's been calling me nonstop ever since. See?" I show her my call log and show her all the calls from unknown.

"That's just fucked up. Why not try to contact you years ago?" I shrug and shove my phone back into my pocket.

"Some mother she is," I mumble then start off towards the biology classroom. Luckily, Jace isn't in that class.

Unfortunately, it doesn't mean I don't see him on my way there.

I see him with Kaelie right at his hip whispering into his ear while he smirks. I feel a pang in my chest. I don't understand why, though. I was obviously just his fuck toy of the week. I mean, his been with at least two girls since. I keep walking hoping Jace doesn't see me.

But I'm not that lucky in life.

"Clary!" he calls out and I just start walking faster. I hear him calling my name but I just ignore him. I'm almost to the biology classroom when he grabs my shoulders and spins me around. "Damn you're fast."

"What do you want?" I say through gritted teeth. Venom drips in my voice.

Jace puts his hands up in surrender. "I just wanted to know if you're, you know." He looks slightly nervous as he says it.

I scoff a little and roll my eyes. "Pregnant? No, I'm not. I just started my period."

He sighs and mutters, "Thank God." Then he looks up at me knowing he shouldn't have said that. "I didn't mean it lik--."

I cut him off before he can even met out his fake apology. "'Thank god'? I'm so glad to see how supportive you'd have been if I were pregnant." I start to turn away when he starts to speak again but I just cut him off again. "Why don't you just run along, fuck Kaelie, or go and tell your friends what a good fuck I am. I'm sure Sebastian would love hearing that." And with that, I dissappear into the biology classroom.

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After I got home I went for a walk in the park across the street. Well, more like a run. When I stop running, I notice a flash of white in the Corbet of my eye. I look over and see the white-blond haired boy from the club.

This guy's been showing up everywhere and I don't even know the fuck he is. Well, I think to myself, that's about to change. I take off towards an area where I know I'll have privacy with him yet still be able to call out for help if I need it.

When I get there, I hide behind a tree and wait for him to show up. When he does, I wait a minute before I step out and say, "Mind telling me who the fuck you are and why you're following me?"

He chuckles a little and says, "I'm just so touched that you remembered your older brother so well, Clarissa."

I pale and stare wide eyed at him. Is this really Jonathan? Is this what the scrawny kid turned into? "Jonathan?" I ask cautiously.

He makes a bowing motion and responds, "In the flesh. I missed you ClareBear." He takes a step towards me and I take three more back.

"No. You need to stay away from me. You and that woman need to stay away from me," I say in a shaky voice.

"Clary, mom's been trying to find you for years. She's becoming a nervous wreck simply because you aren't taking her calls. Please, just come see her," Jon pleads.

I just shake my head and back away more. "I've been through hell the past six years because of her if you didn't realize while you've been stalking me the past week." I motion to my visible scars and see pain flash in his eyes. "Why would I give that woman the time of day when she didn't even want me?"

"It's not as black and white as it seems! Mom tried fighting to get both of us!"

I can feel my eyes filling with tears. "And how can I trust you on that?" It comes out as barely a whisper. He opens his mouth to speak again when I interupt him. "Just stay away from me. Both of you." I turn and run off as the tears start to flow.

I run until I get home and run straight to my room and go in my bathroom. I quickly make three cuts on my left arm before I slide down the wall and cry. When did my life get this fucked up. The pregnancy test is still on the counter where I left it.

I pick it up and look at it. This brought me so much anxiety throughout the day. I told Jace all he needed to know about it.

Too bad every word I told him about it was a lie.