I'm Not What I Seem [COMPLETED]

Chapter 6

You know sex ed? The class no one pays attention during? I should have paid more attention because I'm only in first month of pregnancy and. It. Sucks. Morning sickness, swelling feet, the worst cravings. Why did I go through with this?

Oh right, Jace.

He's been supportive, I guess. Putting up with my late night calls. Getting me Taki's whenever. It doesn't mean he's stopping sleeping around though. I don't mind to be honest. He's a hormonal teenager and is not like I've been in the sex mood lately. As long as he stays away from that slut Kaelie, I'm good.

I hear the front door open and close and footsteps running up the stairs. I know it can't be my dad cuz he's out with a client tonight.

"Hey Clary," Jace says as he walks in and kisses me on the forehead. He sits down next to me on the bed and I lean my head on his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty," is all I say which gets a chuckle out of Jace. "Something just doesn't feel right." There's one thing I'm not completely sure about with this pregnancy, but that was over five years ago. Would that really be affecting me now?

What brings me out of my thoughts is Jace's soft lips pressing against mine. On instinct I wrap my arms around his neck and move my position do I'm basically straddling him. As the kiss begins to get more heated I release a small moan into his mouth. Jace then moves his mouth to me neck where he kisses up and down it, my moans encouraging him to keep going.

When his lips find my sweet spot I gasp and feel in smirk. He stays in that spot and starts to suck and bite the sensitive skin on my neck.

I let out a loud moan then pull back. "Let's go to your house. I think it's high time I show Alec up in Battlefield." Jace chuckles and we both stand and head to his car.

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"OH YEAH! HIGH SCORE AGAIN!" I shout as the mission ends. Alec looks extremely pissed because I kicked his ass. "TAKE THAT LIGHTWORM!"

"Lightworm?" Izzy asks as she walks in.

"Please don't ask," Alec grumbles at his newfound nickname. I laugh and sit back down next to Jace. His arm wraps around my shoulder instantly and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"You gotta admit, it's good," I counter as I softly close my eyes then mumble to myself, "Thank you Will."

"You tired?" Jace asks as he kisses the top of my head. I nod my head a little and feel him pick me up. I start to dose off as he walks and finally fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

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Pain. All that's in my mind is the intense pain I feel when I wake up. I cry out in pain as a sharp feeling enters my lower stomach. I pull back the covers to rush to the bathroom and freeze at what I see.

Blood. So much blood stains the sheets and my clothes. I cry out for Jace as tears fill my eyes.

He comes running in and freezes at the sight of all the blood. "Please help me," I croak out as I cry. He rushes to my side and lifts me up. I hear him mumble something into my ear but I don't register anything.

Somewhere on the way to the hospital I stopped crying. There's too much in my worthless life I can cry about. This doesn't even rank high enough to be considered.

When we get to the hospital my thoughts are proven true. I've had a miscarriage. And I know exactly why my child died. I just hope I never have to let anyone know why. Of all my secrets this is one only my closest family is allowed to know. I'll only tell Jace if I absolutely have to.

When we exit the hospital Jace asks, "Did you drink?"

I turn to face him, the emotionless expression still on my face. "What?"

"Did you drink. Or smoke or do drugs or do anything that could have caused this!" Jace yells and I smack him across the face.

"How dare you! Why would I do that when I was pregnant!? I'm not that stupid you know!" I yell. "I can't belive you would even suggest that!"

"Why else would you have lost the baby!? Why else would our child have died!?" I just shake my head and start walking away. "Clary!"

I feel so enraged that I don't care about the secret anymore. I turn around and shout, "I have three words for you Jace. Congenital heart disease. I had it five years ago and almost died because of it! If it weren't for the last minute donor I would be dead right now! I always knew having kids would be risky with me with all the surgeries and treatments I went through! That is why I haven't bothered with any kind of birth control! I didn't even think I could conceive! So if you're gonna be an inconsiderate bastard then we're done!" I turn on my heel and storm off. I don't even bother to look back as Jace calls my name.

The next thing I know I'm sitting in the park crying. My knees are pulled up to my chest and my head is against the back of the bench as the tears stream down my face. After all that's happened today all I want to do is go and find a razor.

I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket and look to see who's calling. Ugh, it's my mom again. Out of annoyance, I answer. "What!? What could you possibly want right now!?"

"I just wanted to--wait are you okay Clarissa?" Jocelyn asks and I roll my eyes.

"Just peachy," I retort with sarcasm dripping from my voice.

"Look Clarissa, I just want to see you. Please consider giving me even the smallest of chances."

I wipe my eyes and reply, "Fine. But this is your only chance." I hang up and start towards my house. I believe I have a date with a certain razor.