SKYWAY, CHAPTER ELEVEN: “SOLO”
The week with Jessie in Spain was great, on our way back we did have some difficulties with people recognizing us at the airport, but nothing too serious. After our return, I noticed things were different between me and Jessica. I know we both have busy schedules, but we don’t really text or call and I hated it. I felt as if I was losing her and it was the most terrible feeling. Even though, inside my head, there was a voice telling me: ‘You don’t deserve her. She deserves to be happy, and everyone is happier without you.’
So today, I’m going to break up with her. It will make everything better if we’re not together, I will stop her from being distracted from her career and she won’t affect mine, as Rick told me. I have to do it. I have to do it for us. I’m currently standing in front of her doorstep, I called her this morning saying I needed to talk to her, and here I am, waiting for her to open the door. –‘Hey sweetheart!’ she says chirpily as she opens the door, but her smile fades as soon as she sees my face. I must look like a state, dark bags under my eyes, pale, and sad eyes. –‘W-what’s wrong?’ she asks worriedly as she takes my hand and rushes me inside. She leads me into her living room, where we sit down on the sofa next to each other. –‘I’ve been thinking a lot lately,’ I say, my voice without any form of emotion, ‘And I have found out we can’t do this anymore. You and me, us, it’s… wrong…’ Jessie stands up and curses loudly. –‘NO! NO, NO, NO!’ she screams and I see tears trickling down her cheeks. –‘It’s better for everybody,’ I say, still without emotion. –‘NO! I-I-love you! You can’t do this to me!’ –‘It will only hurt you more if we stay together. I don’t want to hurt you.’ –‘You just did, you broke my heart. I thought you loved me too?’ –‘I do, love you so, so much. But that’s the problem; I shouldn’t.’ Jessie cries out my name and grips onto her hair tightly. –‘Don’t do this to me! You can’t leave me! How will I ever be able to love again when this is the way you leave me?’ I take her hand and stroke her knuckles with my thumb. –‘Broken hearts can love too, you know.’ –‘Do you really love me?’ she askes, her voice hoarse. –‘Yes,’ I whispered quietly. –‘Then stay.’ –‘I can’t.’ Tears threatened to spill my eyes, but I had to stay strong. I had to do it for Jessica, she must understand this is the best option. –‘Well, what if I don’t want to? I need you….’ –‘I-I-it’s for the best.’ I can’t handle it much longer, so I run. I run away from my problems as it’s the only thing I seem to be good at. I ran up the stairs in her apartment complex, all the way to the top, and opened the door to the roof, which was surprisingly open. I sat down on the edge of the roof, my legs hanging over the edge. I heard footsteps enter behind me and someone sits down beside of me. –‘It’s weird how in seconds I could just be nothing more than a memory,’ I say, as I turn my head to face Jessica. She smiles sadly. –‘You know, my dad used to tell me: “One day, you’ll just be a memory, do your best and try to be a good one.” And that’s exactly what I did. I’ve been thinking, Jessica, and I realized I’ve done everything I wanted to do with my life. I’ve made my dream come true, I’ve saved people’s lives… I’ve done everything I ever wanted. What’s the use of living when there’s nothing to fight for?’ Jessica gasps loudly. –‘What about me? Am I not worth fighting for?’ –‘Jessica, you mean more to me than the sun means to the moon, more than the oxygen means to the living on earth. You are my everything, and you are worth everything. It’s just that I know I don’t deserve you and you can do so much better. You don’t need me.’ –‘I fucking need you, okay?’ –‘No you don’t. You think you do. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, you know.’ Tears fall down her cheeks. –‘You’re the only fish in the sea for me. Nobody could ever replace you.’ –‘Jessica, I need you to move on. I need you to be happy. And please, let me be a good memory to you. It’s for the best.’ –‘Why? Why are you doing this to me? Making me feel like I’m all alone?’ –‘You are not alone, I promise. Sweetie, come here,’ I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. –‘Do you want to know what my dad used to tell me?’ she asked with a new-found power in her voice. I nodded. –‘”Never give up on someone you can’t you a day without.” And that’s what I’m going to do. I won’t give up. I will try every day of every week to get you back. And I won’t give up until the day you give in. I promise.’ –‘And I will promise you something as well, Jessica. This is a ring, a promise ring, and I want you to wear it for every day from now. And with this, I’m promising you I will never forget you.’
