CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: “WHERE THE HELL ARE WE-TOUR”
We get in the hotel room, which we share with everyone, literally everyone. Well, maybe I’m a exaggerating, of course Jake and Becky got their own room, and the crew must have some rooms too. But we’re sharing with Phil, Lee-Ann (his newest shag), Jim, Jonah, Jackson and loads of spiders, which creep the fuck out of Jessica which is quite funny. For me. They’re all sitting on someone bed, which I believe is Phil’s, staring at his laptopn screen and laughing and talking. Twitcam. Of course Jonah and Lee-Ann are introduced at fans, no one is waiting for their idol to introduce them to their girlfriend, right? –‘Oh, hey Emeli and Jess, glad to see you’ve finally arrived!’ yells Phil and he pats the spot next to him. I roll my eyes and sit next to him. –‘And where can I sit now?’ asks Jessica pouting as the bed is filled up with people (and Jackson sleeping behind my back.) –‘I reserved a seat for you, ma’am, first row,’ I reply smiling and pat my lap. –‘Yay, thanks sweetie.’ She plumps down on top of me, crushing my bones in the process, (again I may be a bit of exaggerating), and lovingly pets my head. She snuggles her head into my neck and softly presses a kiss onto it. –‘Right, so what are we actually doing?’ –‘A last Twitcam in Spain before leaving to Paris! Booyah!’ says Jim and he pumps his fist up and down, so gay, ha. –‘Emeli?’ asks Jessica sweetly. –‘Yes Cupcake?’ –‘This is a Europe tour right?’ –‘Yes, very well-noticed darling.’ –‘Shut up. Why aren’t we going to Russia?’ –‘Russia doesn’t even belong to Europe, does it? White-Russia does, but Russia not, right?’ –‘You suck at Geography babe.’ –‘Yeah, yeah I do. But even if it did belong to Russia we wouldn’t go there,’ I explain patiently. –‘Why not?’ –‘You have to do be invited to get into Russia, and we won’t be invited.’ –‘Why not?’ she asks again. –‘Because, I’m gay. Gays aren’t allowed in Russia.’ –‘Oh. Wait, what?’ I slap my forehead and shake my head. –‘Right, can we now get a question from someone who isn’t a complete retard?’ I poke my tongue out at Jessica who just laughs and snuggles into my neck again.
We arrive in Paris at eleven the next morning, but we don’t have to perform until tomorrow night, so today we get to do some sight-seeing, interviews will be done tomorrow. –‘Right, me and JJ are going, just give me a call when you need me, yeah? And please Phil don’t call me because you think you’ve lost your phone like last time,’ I tell him with a stern look while he flushes bright red. Jessica giggles and pulls on my hand. –‘Let’s go, I want to see the city of love!’ she turns around and twirls, causing her to bump straight into the wall. –‘You mean the city of tripping,’ I joke. –‘No babe, that’s Amsterdam,’ she winks at me and grabs my hand again as we wait for the elevator. –‘I really hate elevators,’ she says with a very thick accent, it’s lovely. –‘Elevatorhater,’ I say mimicking her accent and doing a very bad impression of her voice. –‘Shut up you,’ she shoves me away and sprint into the elevator, which just arrived, and presses on the close doors button. Too late, I was in it. I grab her wrists and pin them above her head. –‘Too bad Cupcake, I’m in here.’ –‘Plan worked,’ she smirks as she leans in and softly presses her lips again mine. I immediately reciprocate her kiss by presses my lips on her harder. Her hand slips to the back of my hand and my hand explores her side, softly caressing her hip before placing my hand on it and squeezing it. We stop kissing and open our eyes. She grabs my hand and places it on her chest, allowing me to feel her heartbeat. –‘Oh, the things you do to me,’ Jessica smirks and drops my hand. –‘I can feel your heartbeat… she said to me I can feel your heartbeat running through me,’ I sing softly. –‘Never known you were into Enrique Iglesias, babe.’ –‘Actually, I’m not, but my sister used to play that song all the time.’
-‘Is that it?’ Jessica asks as she points at the small painting hanging three metres away from us. –‘Yes, that little thingy is why people from all across the world come here.’ I out my hands in my pocket and smile shyly at her. Jessica pulls my hood down and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. –‘You look cute with that big hoodie on.’ –‘Yeah, and you look very badass with my black leather jacket.’ –‘It’s mine now,’ she winks at me and turns around to face the painting again. –‘Well, bye bye Mona Lisa, we’re going to see the Eiffel tower now, which is hopefully bigger than you. Are you coming Ems?’
