It’s raining cats and dogs outside. The weather sympathizes. I’m all alone in my bedroom thinking of someone while listening to our favorite songs. Reminiscing memories, laughter and tears he brought to my life, and the plans we made for our… supposed to be future. Sad to say, those plans have disappeared, gone with the wind. I’m not prepared for this. I didn’t expect that it would come to an end.
It seems that the world is turning me down. I’m here asking myself, “Why did you do this to me? What have I done wrong? Why me?” I don’t understand this! I don’t deserve this! Tears keep falling. The more I try to forget him, the more I suffer from the pain. My pals say, “You’ll be over him, you deserve someone better. There’s a lot of fish in ocean.” Yeah, they are right, but it’s really hard to look for another when your heart is totally broken. I am ashamed of myself. Wishing for the same person who hurt me, to love me again. Nobody can blame me, I am a lout and it has been proven. It’s not easy to relinquish a first love.
As my tears dry out and our last song being played. I realized that I can never get him back, even if I do, things will never be the same again and it’s too late to start all over again. It’s like accidentally breaking a mirror and in trying to put back the shattered pieces a finger gets wounded, bleeds and hurts. I’m sick and tired for being magnanimous for him! It’s over! Cheer up girl! He is not the last guy on earth!
“Someday someone’s gonna love me, the way I wanted you to need me. Someday, someone's gonna take your place. One day I'll forget about you. You'll see, I won't even miss you. Someday, someday.” Someday by Nina and it really suits me.
“My phone is vibrating. Oh! I have one message. Oh my! What a miracle?! He sent me a message!” My heart is palpitating when I’m opening his message.
Danny : It' s me... How are you? Wat r u doing? Can u giv me another chance? I'm really sorry 4 wat I've done. I didn't mean it. We can still work on this. PLEASE TRUST ME...
“What will I do? He’s asking for another chance? What will I do?!!”
My heart and brain started to argue.
Brain: Don’t give him another chance. What for? To hurt you again?Oh, common! Use your head.
Heart: Don't say that! Everybody deserves a second chance. Think positive. Maybe he will do his
part now. Take a risk. Give him another chance. Maybe it will work again.
Brain: Huh?! It’s not easy to give that chance. Look, they’ll be together it’s like nothing.
TRUST IS TOTALLY BROKEN! They will not work and you know that.
Heart: I know that, but he’s sorry for what he had done. I’d still love him and you know that.
Don’t forget that he brought happiness to my life, even if he hurt me.
Brain: I know that, but don’t forget that you’re in pain at this moment because of him. Giving him a
chance is also giving him a prerogative to hurt you and you will suffer that pain again.
“It’s really confusing! Both of them have a point. I don’t know who to follow!”
Brain: You know what the "right thing to do", but you don't want to do it!
Heart: Shut up! That “that right thing to do” is killing me in pain! I forgot, you can’t
feel this pain because your numb!
Brain: Don’t talk about silly feeling of yours! Time can heal that wound in your heart.
Trust me. Don’t be a big martyr. Life is easier without him.
“Brain is right. I’d be smart enough in decision making.”
Me: I’m ok. I’m doing fine… chance??? Wat 4? Were over. I’m happy ryt now and it’s all
Bcoz of u.. I’m happy you hurt me… I’m glad u left me… it’s a magical feeling
Knowing that you’re not meant 4 me…. Tnx!
Sending message………………. Message Sent……………………….
Wow! I’m proud of myself. I did it! It’s the first step of moving on. I’ll be over him as days go on. Tomorrow will be another day for me and it’s gonna be a happy day. Crying relieved my heartache. I’m tired of grievous tears. It’s time to sleep. Hmmm well, that’s life and heartache is part of growing up. ^__^
