The Pen Of Poetry

Deeper

Hello! So I literally just wrote this and I'm so proud of how it came out, it's a little long but wait until you reach the end. Comment, vote, anything, it means a lot and makes my day. God bless you all, have a miraculous day.
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Title:Deeper

I am surrounded by deep waters
sinking below the surface by the anchors tied around my ankles
anchors that are weighing me down
I've tried to shake them off but they just wouldn't budge
self hate, discouragement, unworthiness, no love, rejection, unforgiven, lies, discipline, accountability
as I descend lower and lower it becomes darker, scarier, and harder to breathe
the beam of light when I look up at the sky above the water becomes distant
I am afraid
I am losing hope
I am suffocating
I am dying
I gasp for air but there is no oxygen around
my lungs fill with water creating a paralyzing sensation of flames burning inside my chest
I flail my arms around about me trying to encase something, anything
but the struggling is only making it worse
the fighting is only making death knock on my door
running away only will lead to more disaster
I am giving in
I am giving up
I am quitting
I focus in on that door that seems alarmingly close, it's drawing me closer and closer
someone mean is standing there waiting with a grimacing look upon his face, evil
I can't say that I want to go but I have no other choice
I reach for the knob, looking at the fine details
wooden, rustic, worn
as my hand turns the knob my skin singes, my skin is burned and I retract my hand back
something is stopping me
a light appears to my right
oh, what is this
I though there was nothing left,
no hope
no life down here
no love
but I was wrong
there was a hand reaching out for me a man with scars on His hands but a kind smile upon His face, welcoming
but how can I trust this is the right thing to do
I've ran out of time
but before I could deny the help I was being pulled out
I had another choice but I was too blinded by my past regrets to see it right beside me
to see Him patiently waiting for me to turn around
for me to have enough faith to trust
the look on the evil face turns into pity, hatred, he lost
and I had finally won
not because of my own victory but because of the victory from the man with scared hands
the water around me has dissipated
oxygen can reach me
He breathed into my lungs, new life
I've been saved
why would He do this, I don't deserve this
not after all I've done
but He said he already paid the price
He told me not to fear
that He had me in His arms now, the waves will not knock me down
He untied the anchors and put them around His ankles
what love is this that this innocent man would take my place, my heart aches but He brings comfort
I don't ever want to leave His presence
I praise Him for giving me hope
for doing what no man could or would do
for rescuing this lost soul
for proving to the evil that He will always reign
Forever and ever amen