A Trap Within A Trap

Chapter 9

He pulled the 740IL Beamer up to the port hanger. Renting his own car was a bit paranoid, but he just couldn't trust feeds garage, and wanted to be more incognito anyway. The rental rep said it was constructed of nothing but steel, and that the Germans nick named it "The Tank" but it moved like a sports car with its turbo V8 engine. Troy waved him into a make shift parking area off the warehouse side. Just as Jaques was stepping out Troy slipped in and drove when Jaquez got his last foot on to the ground.

'I hate dat sneaky ass nigga.' Jaquez thought. 'He too slick, too icy, and too damn fast.' He learned to trust his first impressions of people, and never regretted it. In the seven years he'd known Feed and his shadow, he knew something was polluted in Troy and so never exchanged a word with the man, not even a glance. 'I never seen him put a bullet through anything. Not even any of the usual big boy grab and shove bullshit guys like him usually did to make sure you knew he was in charge.' Which made him that much more dangerous Jaquez knew from experience. It's the killers who don't need to express their thirst for death, their fondness for violence that are the most deadly.

He walked over to the large mostly rusted over hanger. Within the hanger their where employees, mostly on the young side smiling, smoking and eating off of the food truck within the hanger. Feed stood on the 3rd floor ledge of an office, and called down "Get your ass up here, Montana." His voice echoed causing a few heads to turn, and see who it was the boss called for.

"So, ya boy is stable at Jackson Memorial, five holes in'em. The other two didn't live long enough to hear the shots put in'em." Feed snorted "Media spun it as a drug related drive by, and lazy ass pigs just took that and ran with it."

"Bam?" Jaquez blurted out when he noticed Feed had taken a breath from his usual blabbering. "Yeah nigga, I said he's stable nigga damn. What you wasn't listening? I know I say you'ze all look alike, but I'm just playin." Feed said laughing. 

'I'm getting tired of this nigga here.' thought Jaquez 'I can't wait to get in his daughter and slap her ass around. Probably gonna try and kill dat bitch tonight. She like dat kinda shit.'

"They spun that the dumb ass story like you weren't the targets, but innocent bystanders." Feed continued "I just had to keep in the news that you'ze where blacks, and let the chips fall where they did. "

Jaquez fixed a sly grin upon his face, preparing to ask a question, Feed stopped him "She's back in Vatican City guarding the pope." Feed enjoyed the genuine surprise on Jaquez's face, and laughed out loud, hand to chest, head back as if to shame God. While hoarse he began "She's of the Mercy Vestal Order of ..." Feed recognized Jaquez had no idea what he was talking about.

"A Nun Jah, you got yo freak on with a Nun, one of Gods fuckin old ladies. You know, sworn to only give herself to Jesus Christ himself." Breathless and exasperated he fell into another fit of laughter at Jaquez's expense. "I guess that makes you the other man in her life ..." Feed started that high pitched cackle of a laugh again, bouncing his closed fist upon the desk.

He then reached under the desk, and along with the sound of groaning metal upon metal came the definite sensation of movement in the downward direction. Jaquez's eyes on the other hand promised he was in a perfectly immobile and stationary room.

A/N: Hey yall, I've been getting comments FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!

Careful what you wish for ;) LOL

And I'm taking them to heart.

The common one is that my writing style can get confusing. Like when the characters are speaking, and when they are thinking. Just generally I'm using the apostrophes to emphasize when characters are thinking. Which I suppose could be way confusing when i'm starting from 3rd person narration to then complete the sentence the characters thoughts. It's a certain style I want to perfect instead of just dropping cuz its different. Work with me pretty pretty please.

So also if you have the time, I am looking for what Wattpad readers affectionately (not so much) refer to as grammar Nazi's. I can take it, and I know I have a lot of work to do while on my journey to where I want my writing to be. Please consider shooting me the specific paragraph/sentence that makes NO sense. You could even go further by writing how you think I should have written it.

So antyway, for the few that are sticking thru this story with me I LOVE YOU!! And hold onto your seat cuz I'm taking you for a ride out of the usual urban lit, to a few other genre's starting NOW! 

Please vote  :)