Two Vatos Locos Full of Carnalismo and Inamoratos

Chapter 2: Up the Wolves and Down the Hanging Door

"There's the second bedroom," Gerard said, showing Ryan around the house with more than a little excitement. "And, and you have a bathroom that is shared with the third bedroom. It's as big as the master bathroom cause it's shared, so it's really nice! The, the shower has a detachable head and it's super cool."

"That does sound cool," Ryan hummed. He could tell Gerard was flustered with trying to see this home to Ryan. He wasn't going to tell Gerard it was needless because he knew Gerard would only stress even more.

"I've made the bed and everything," Gerard said, "I got you tie-dye sheets, I hope you don't think that's too stupid. And they're really nice and stuff and warm. I think you'll love them. And, and there's a desk and a bookshelf and stuff and I think you're really gonna like it. Oh, and, like, the kitchen is big and shit and apparently Ray loves to cook, so we basically plan on me, Frankie, and Mikey, and, and maybe you? Uh, just, like, we stock the kitchen and he cooks. If you're okay with that."

Ryan smiled gently and nudged Gerard's shoulder with his own. "It's perfect," he told Gerard in a soft voice. "I'm gonna put in my share of the rent and food and utilities and whatever else you need. I'm gonna love it here, Gee."

Gerard's smile was so achingly vulnerable that Ryan's heart clenched and he moved in to wrap his arms around Gerard in a tight hug. Gerard must've been feeling more than he showed, because when Gerard put his arms around Ryan's waist and clung to him, he hid his face in Ryan's neck. Ryan could feel him trembling with some unnamed emotion and refused to pull away until Gerard did.

"I'm sorry," Gerard choked. "I-I didn't..."

"It's okay," Ryan soothed, rubbing his back. "Whatever it is, it's okay."

"Don't leave," Gerard pleaded in a tiny voice. "E-even if Brendon is gone. Please don't leave me."

Ryan hesitated. The thought of living alone, without the person he was meant to spend forever with, made his stomach churn and his breathe come short. It terrified him. Facing this horrible world utterly alone, without anyone at his side. The dreams were the world's way of saying that no one was ever meant to go it alone. He didn't know if he would be able to keep a promise like that to Gerard.

But then he heard Gerard's breath hitch and he knew Gerard was crying.

"I'll stay," he murmured. "For you."

"Thank you," the other man gasped, holding onto him even tighter. "You, you won't be alone. Not really. You'll stay with me and Frankie a-and we'll be best friends and stuff and everything will be okay. You won't be alone, I-I promise."

"Okay," Ryan sighed, still rubbing Gerard's back. "If you really, truly want me to stay beyond him, I will."

"Thank you so much." Gerard reached up and tangled a hand in Ryan's hair. "I-I love you, Ryan. The world doesn't seem as colorful when you're not around, you know? You add your own spectrum. I-I don't like the world without your spectrum, c-cause it looks so good against Frankie's and you guys make this amazing gamut when there's wind."

Ryan had realized, long ago, that sometimes he needed to be really high to understand Gerard.

"I love you, Ryan," he whimpered. "I really do."

"I love you too," he hummed. "And I'm happy that you asked me to stay with you guys." Ryan bit his lip, then went the extra mile. "You guys are the family I've always wanted. And I'm really fucking happy to hear you say you want me to stay. It'll be hard, yeah, but I'll try. For you."

Gerard smiled and it was achingly vulnerable again. "You're my best friend, Ryan," he mumbled. "I want you by my side forever."

"That's creepily romantic," Ryan teased. "Sure you don't want me to sleep in your bed tonight? And do a little more than sleep?"