Broken (MattxMello Yaoi Fanfiction)

The Kiss

Matt couldn't quite believe what was happening. Mello... Mello was kissing him... He pulled away slightly, staring into Mello's sea-blue eyes. He could quite possibly drown in them if he didn't stay afloat. However, they held a sadness to them that Matt had never seen before, almost like that of a small child that had been betrayed. Mello may've been older than him, but Matt suddenly felt an overwhelming longing to protect him, to keep him safe.

Mello bit his lip, "I- I'm sorry... You're mad at me, right?" Sighing, he pulled away as well. Maybe Matt just wanted to be friends, like he had originally thought. Yet this need inside of him... Did Matt feel it too? Obviously not, or else he wouldn't have backed out. With a heavy heart, Mello realised he had blown all chances of ever showing Matt how much he loved him. Matt wouldn't want to ever kiss him again or hold him close like Mello had secretly fantasized about. He had been rejected by his only love; what the hell mattered anymore?

*

Matt was no longer angry at Mello; he never truly was to begin with. However, Mello could've misinterpreted that. If so, Matt felt heavily guilty. He loved Mello with a passion and it was this that was the main reason he spent many nights at Wammy's crying himself to sleep. He often felt as though Mello would never think about him the way Matt did for him and this made Matt feel as though he was unloved and forgotten, like an old toy that was once played with frequently before the child moved on.

"Hey." Reaching out across the table, Matt grasped Mello's hand which, without the slim leather gloves, looked skeletal in the dim light. Matt gently tugged at it, not wanting to cause any unnecessary pain for the blonde, "Come over here." Mello obeyed, wincing as he sat down beside Matt. What was he going to say? Was he going to yell at him? Mello almost felt as if he deserved it.

Matt gently held Mello's face in his hand, stroking the right-side of his face with his thumb, "I'm sorry." he whispered, barely audible. He was just so... Overwhelmed with Mello's unique beauty. The scar was almost pretty; like a lone flower amongst rotting corpses in a battlefield. Matt could see nothing flawed about Mello's face or, indeed, the rest of his body. Then again, he hadn't seen the whole of Mello's body uncovered, something he was hoping would change relatively soon.

Leaning in, Matt brushed his lips against Mello's, feeling its tenderness. Whoa... This was new yet exceedingly wonderful. He allowed Mello to take in this contact, having not predicted the outcome of his previous action. He blinked in surprise, before sighing in relief. Matt didn't want to lose Mello after all. Carefully, he pushed his lips on to Matt's once more, letting the world fall away. He was happy and he never wanted to let go of that strength that that feeling offered him.

Matt held Mello's shoulders firmly, as if they supported him in kissing Mello as passionately as he wanted to. No, he needed to. Five hellish years in Wammy's of isolation and fear needed to amount to something. If fate had made him go through that for something as divine as this, Matt felt no need to curse his existence anymore. For every pain-ridden day he had experienced in the past, there was another beautiful second to the future with Mello.

As he began to slip his tongue in between Matt's lips, Mello felt his heart race in his chest. Every spare moment at the Mafia, whether it was the middle of the night in his bedroom or lounging on the leather couch, Matt was on Mello's mind. The guilt overwhelmed him to the point of despair and he often found himself believing that Matt would reject him immediately on that basis alone. However, he pushed those doubts behind him now; Matt was here, and they were kissing one another.

The two of them stared at each other, pulling way simultaneously, "Damn..." Mello smiled, his head spinning with the suddenness of it all. Matt returned a grin, gently squeezing Mello in what could be interpreted as a hug, "I love you Mello. You are my everything."