The Broken Places (Septiplier)

8) What To Say

"I'm sorry, Jack. You didn't deserve that. I was angry and I was hurting and I lashed out at you because you were the easy target. I'd already screamed at Mark and I screamed at Matt after you left and I'm just, I'm really sorry." Ryan rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and sighed. "You didn't deserve that and it was a dick move of me."

The four men were clustered around the kitchen table, nursing cups of coffee and picking at plates that were more than half full. The atmosphere in the room was tense and no one was really making eye contact.

"Don't worry about it dude, it happens. I wasn't trying to start any shite, I was just trying to be here for you guys. I'm sorry if I overstepped any boundaries." Jack's voice was calm and friendly. "I just want to help."

"We know Jack." Matt replied, smoothing his hand over Ryan's shoulder as he got a glass of juice. "It's just a really hard time for us and we're having trouble coping but that doesn't mean we're not happy to see you." 

"We're- I'm really glad you're here." Mark said, smiling as best he could at Jack before returning to his bowl of mushy cereal. 

He was still angry with Ryan, but he wasn't going to let it show, not now, at least. He wanted to keep the peace as long as possible and, frankly, Mark was tired. He was tired of fighting and crying and anger and most of all he was tired of being sad. The cereal in his bowl had long since gotten soggy, so much so that he knew eating it would make him gag (a/n eating soggy cereal actually does make me gag) but he knew Jack would be worried if he didn't eat something. Jack was always worried, it seemed. You could see the days aging his face like years and Mark was worried that being here was bad for his health. 

"I'm getting some toast, does anyone want anything?" Mark hoped he was doing alright at keeping the hollow tone from his voice. 

No one replied so he made his way to the kitchen, popping a few pieces of wheat toast into the toaster and settling himself against the counter. Mark sighed low in his chest, letting his head hang between his shoulders as he allowed himself a moment to lose control and simply feel. The tears were hot and bitter and the emptiness in his stomach had him turning to spit bile into the sink. 

"Mark? Hey, Mark, it's alright." Jack was there, suddenly, pulling Mark into a hug. "It's going to be alright, I promise."

Mark said nothing, unable to stop the tears. It seemed all he did these days was cry and he hated it. He hated feeling like this, he hated that he was always crying. Not that he was alone, Matt and Ryan were a mess too, but it was so much worse when he was alone, or when Jack was comforting him. He hated that it seemed like most of his burdens were falling onto Jack's thin shoulders, Jack should be enjoying himself, not forcing himself to care for a house full of grown men.

"I'm sorry Jack, these really aren't your problems. I'm sorry that all I do is cry, I'm sorry that all I am is a series of problems. I wish I was better. I wish you could have fun. I fucking hate that all I can do is fall apart." His voice trembled and he hugged himself to Jack's chest, soaking in the comfort that was given.

"I know Mark, I know that it's hard but it's going to be. You lost one of your closest friends, it's unimaginable the kind of pain you're having to endure." Jack lifted Mark's chin, brushing the tears from Mark's puffy eyes. "We're going out today, remember? Right after breakfast. All four of us. Come on, eat your toast and let's go."

In the chaos of Mark breaking down, again, the toast had popped. He took it from the toaster and began eating it dry, unable to make eye contact with Jack. He felt a warm, slender hand slip into his and he smiled as Jack's fingers squeezed his gently. It was exactly what he needed, and a rush of gratitude filled him. Jack always seemed to know just what to do and when he needed it. Mark quickly finished the dry toast but refused to let go of Jack's hand.

In the kitchen, Matt was standing between Ryan's knees, speaking softly to him as he raked his fingers through Ryan's hair. His eyes were teary and it seemed like he was going to cry. But the moment passed and he offered Mark a watery smile, which was returned in a similar fashion. Ryan didn't look up, his face pressed firmly into the fabric of Matt's shirt, and Mark didn't try to get his attention. He was taking a moment, it was to be expected.

"Hey, guys, um," Mark spoke after a second, his voice faltering. "Jack and I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the zoo today? The weather is nice out and it seems like a good day to get out of the house for a bit." 

"I dunno, Mark." Matt let his hand smooth down the back of Ryan's head to cup his neck. "I'm not sure if we're ready for-"

"Let's do it." Ryan said suddenly, jerking his head from its resting place on Matt's chest. "Let's go out, get some sun."

==================================Time Skip-a-rooni-tooni========

"Mark, we're missing the lemurs!"Jack's voice was light and full of joy as he tugged Mark closer to the exhibit that housed the little marsupials. 

"They're very nice." Mark replied in a distracted tone.

The light was hitting Jack's face in a way that made Mark's chest ache pleasantly. He loved seeing Jack like this, watching the shock turn to wonder in his eyes as he explored more and more of what America had to offer. He was smiling, blue eyes sparkling with color and intensity, arms thrown wide as he stretched, enjoying the sun. 

For once, the Irishmen was not wearing sleeves, but a simple white t-shirt with Septic Sams covering it. A black beanie was tucked snugly over his ears and he wore dark blue jeans. The color was starting to fade from his hair, leaving it more of a mint green and it set off the blue in his eyes. Mark pulled his phone from his pocket, snapping a quick picture before Jack could stop him. 

"Did you just take a picture of me you dickwad?" Jack called, shielding his eyes from the sun. 

"Noooooo not at all." Mark flashed Jack an all too innocent smile before posting the photo on facebook.

Markiplier:
Look at this silly Booper Dooper! Hanging out with the guys, having a wonderful day.

Within minutes Mark's facebook had blown up, most of it was Septiplier related comments or outcries for gameplay, the usual stuff. It made Mark happy and a little disturbed to see just how many of his fans liked the idea of him and Jack together. 

He was happy, he realized. At least for the moment, any way. And it felt good. It felt good to feel something besides empty. He took a deep breath, revealing in the feeling. Mark knew that, all too soon, that feeling would be gone. 

"Hey Mark," Jack called from beside Ryan, waving his long arm to get Mark's attention. "Come on!"

Mark decided to enjoy the day and enjoy the feelings as he jogged to catch up with his friends.

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A/N Sorry this chapter is just kinda filler-y and that it took so long, my muses are very fickle and have been mostly one shot related lately. Still though, hope you enjoy!