The Broken Places (Septiplier)

19) Mark's Plea

Not my video.

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"Jack, I don't know if you can hear me, I don't know if I want you to anymore... there's so much damage to your body that I don't know if it'd be more merciful to just let you go. The doctor's are saying that when you wake up, if  you wake up, I mean, that you'll be... different.. That you won't be you anymore. I don't know if I could handle that. So... I want you to know it's okay. It's okay to go if you need to, if you'd be better off somewhere better. I'll be okay on my own. But, I need you to know something first.

I love you, Jack. I love you so much and it terrifies me because I know I'm not going to stop loving you and I don't know how I can be me without you. So much of me is tainted with you and I love every moment that I'm with you because you're like the sun after weeks of rain and you're just, you're everything. And I know I can't ask you to stay because that'd be selfish and you'd be miserable. But I can't let you go because I'd be miserable and I don't know if I could do it without you. I'm so sorry that this whole mess happened and I'd do anything to take it back, I'd do anything to fix this. I'm so sorry Sean. I'm so sorry that it happened this way. I'd trade places with you in a minute, without even thinking about it.

..

..

Life's kinda funny, huh? It's funny how something can happen that you never expected and how the tiniest decision can drastically alter your life. Something you wouldn't have thought about twice suddenly becomes your reason for living. We were supposed to go home from the airport and be happy and instead, because I was looking at you, just a second to see you smile, and now we're in this mess. Funny, huh?"

A long, somber silence.

"I'm sorry Jack, I am so sorry that this happened and it's... it's okay to go, now. Your mother won't stop crying and your brothers are barely gone. This is the first time I've been alone with you in almost a week. I wish you would wake up. I wish I could take your place.

Silence.

You need to know that it's okay to go, Jack. We won't blame you, or be angry with you. I'll take care of your family, I promise. I'll make sure they have everything they need to get by and I'll make sure that they're safe. They won't be alone, and neither will I. Your mother's already taken me in." A chuckle. "She's so kind Jack, so loving. And she looks so much like you. Those same wide, kind eyes and that same smile. You're so much like her. 

I'm not scared anymore Jack. I was, I really was. But the doctors are saying you'd be better off if you didn't wake up. The crash caused a lot of swelling in your brain and they couldn't get it down fast enough. They did a lot of tests, CAT scans, MRIs and they think they figured out what's wrong with you. They're saying your speech and memory center were affected most heavily. Meaning you'd hardly remember anything and that there'd be a good chance you couldn't talk. Which means no more YouTube. I don't know if I could handle seeing you like that.... they still don't know how your left arm and leg are going to do, or if you'll be able to use them.

Jack, it'd be better for you, you wouldn't be in as much pain as you are now. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose you, but I can't imagine you being happy like this. I love you and I want what's best for you, even if it means you aren't here anymore. 

My mother says you're handsome." A laugh. "She hasn't even seen you awake yet, and already she loves you. I wish you could meet her, Jack. She's just.... she's been so helpful and loving and I don't know what I'd do without her. I don't know if I'd be able to get through this."

The sound of sobbing.

"Please Jack, if you want to live, if you want to try, give me a sign. Give me something to tell me that you wouldn't be better off in heaven, or the afterlife, or wherever we go when we die. We've already told your fans what's going on, so you don't need to worry about letting them know." 

A heavy sigh and a long silence.

"And even if it is better for you, to go, don't worry about me. You'll be with me everyday, in everything I do. We can meet in my dreams." A hiccupy laugh. "The world would be okay, Sean. We'd miss you, every damn day, but you don't owe it to any of us, not me or your family or your fans, you don't have to stay if you're not strong enough. I know you feel like you owe the world something, owe me something, but you don't. You don't owe any of us anything." 

Another sob.

"Everyone is here, Sean. Felix, Ken, Matt and Ryan, everyone came to be here with you. We all love you so much, Sean, so much. And we want you to be where you'll do the best. 

And if you want to live, if you want to fight, then do it. I will be right here with you, every step of the way. I will fight right along with you and I will be your support and your backbone and everything you need. You'll never be alone, not once.

I love you, Sean. And whatever you decide, just know that I'll always love you."

Again, there was only silence.