torn up; j.s

update;)

I've been thinking about my plan.
But I'm actually scared.
I don't have a phone.
I don't have friends.
I don't have many clothes.
But I do go to school.
I get bullied there.
Everyone hates me. but they don't know the real me. all they know is I'm disgusting and ugly.
It's Thursday night and i have to go that hell tomorrow.
it's 11:08 PM.
I cut my light off and drift off to sleep.
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*Wakes up*
It's 6:00 Am and I get up and get in the shower.
I blow dry my hair and out my clothes on.
A ripped pair of jeans and a dirty t-shirt.
I brush my teeth with the tooth brush I've had for months and go sit on my bed.
It's now 7:02 and I need to be at school by 7:45.
I grab my dirty jacket and backpack that has holes in it and walk out the door.
It takes me about 25 minutes to walk to school. but it was my only way there.
On my way I pass the neighborhood where all the "cool" people live and see Kaitlyn Hill.
The most popular girl in school but also the biggest bitch.
She pulls out of the road and stops and rolls her window down.
"awh, look at the little poor girl, that lives in a ditch! see you at school loser.!" she says.
I just kept walking as she drove off around the corner.
I arrive at school and go to my locker.
All I had was a pencil and notebook.
I go to my first period. Math.
I hated math the most because I really didn't understand it. It's my worst period. We're aloud to have calculators but I couldn't afford one.
I go thru my day until lunch comes.
I was sitting alone where I usually do and just stare at the table silently.
When Kaitlyn comes up and dumps her tray all over me.
I stand up and look around and see everyone looking at me laughing.
I start to feel hot and sweaty.
I felt the heat coming off of my body. That was one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me.
I run out the door and go home. I sneak in my window and run to my bathroom.
I sit in my floor crying harder and harder.
"Everyone hates me"
"Kill yourself already"
I was thinking.
But then I remembered my old blades.
Yes, I used to cut but then stopped.
I got up and opened up my cabinet and got my blades.
I took the sharp object and slightly slid it across my wrist.
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I hope you like this;)
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   how you feel a/b it?!❤️
<<Trin💖👑>>