Problematic Me By Cari Kate

Chapter 15-Embarrassed

Oh my word Im so embarrassed because Josh keeps asking me what I was moaning about he says it's like I was about to have an orgasm what ever that is I seriously wanted him to shut up because Rani was laughing at me so much because she knew that feeling. I couldn't stop blushing but from my right I could tell Josh was a bit angry why I don't understand.

I always ask Josh why he doesn't have a girlfriend already because girls are thrashing themselves onto him but he won't take any.

He normally says" im waiting for the girl I love to open up her eyes to see that im right infront of her waiting no matter how long it will take her to see me"

When he says that I normally don't push unless I want to hurt him at Times but his a man who knows how to control his temper and composure, I wonder who his talking about I always fear that she won't be good enough for him or she will end up breaking his heart which I would kill her for.

So anyway I tell them who I was dreaming about and what he was doing to me,  Josh seemed scared for life I could tell he didn't like what he heard because his mouth twitched on his right side and his eyes squinted and he looked down which I took as my que to shut up because I didn't want to upset him any further.

But Rani wouldn't shut up about it and accidentally was heard by Johanna that devil oh yeah she still exists.

She heard everything and went around spreading word that I was a sick bitch with stupid thoughts imagine how I felt I wanted to kill her I wanted to do something dreadful to that bitch I really didn't understand why she hated me.

That day I cried the whole time in the bathroom I didn't want to go to my classes I didn't want to do anything I just wanted to sleep it of in the bathroom but neither Josh or Rani would let me so I was dragged of and was made to eat lunch exactly where Jones and the crew eat that day I ate my lunch so fast to a point of chocking I was in a hurry to get out of there because I heard people moaning and laughing behind my back that a tear escaped and ran down my cheek that Rani was up and ready to beat someone up for making me cry I just told her not to and ran out mouthing

"Im sorry Jones for embarrassing you"

I up and out of the cafeteria as fast as sonic the hedgehog before anyone stopped me right around the corner a guy asked me if I wanted him to feel me up I wanted to gug.

I want straight to miss Winslet to ask for a sick pass and to let me stay in the sick room she let me. We had an understanding for that day when Josh and Rani came to get me I was a vapid bitch to them and they didn't care because they understood my situation and that's why I love them so much my loves my life.

That night Terry asked what happened and I told her sh*t which she wouldn't tolarate she she nearly struck my cheek that I apologized to her and I.told her everything

"Oh honey",is all she said and she collected me into her arms and kissed my nape and temple to soothe me. She put up a hot bath for me and removed all my clothes I felt like a zombie so she did everything for me that day and that brought back memories of the old Terry that I knew and loved before the depression took over. 

She put me to bad and told me she would call me in sick tomorrow it's like she could read my mind I was staring my road to a full recovery of the past and all this. I thank God for the strength he had willed into me because I wouldn't have wanted to go back to school for the whole year but I had to face up to what happened I wouldn't let them break me I wrote in my poetry book a poem for all people who have been brought down by bullies

My strength is never to be shaken

I have gazed upon the faces of my loved ones and I have seen an oppression upon their lives holding the down to the pits of a fire I pray evreryday to have them released to have them take a stand to take up their strength the good almighty has put upon them for he will never throw us a challenge we can't handle a challenge we aren't ready for hold your heard why high and say I will prevail I will dominate over any oppression that shackles my wrists stand with me stand with me and we will destroy and obstacles.