Problematic Me By Cari Kate

chapter 35

Abortion

I thought hard about it I thought abortion no one would know except me and doctor Maggie but it goes against my church rules it goes against human nature what am I supposed to do this baby would be the end of me if I keep it I thought holy crap im only doing my grade 11.

You know when you watch all these teen moms and 16 and pregnant you think how stupid could she have been until it happens to you I got up went out and meet mr Wills who asked me what didn't the doctor say before seeing my puffy eyes then said what happened I wanted to say your son happened but then I thought again we happened and I ended up saying  a tummy bug nothing to worry about and he said ok he pulled me to him and I laid my head on his chest and thought I have to tell Josh and fast. Mr wills drove me home atleast Terry wasn't there because I needed to cry alone and think about these thing in me this baby who wants to make my life impossible .

I cried and screamed and asked God why when everything was going for me did this have to pop up as a stumbling block im my life. 

Am I ever meant to find happiness in any place?  I knew  the answer to that but I couldn't quite say it out loud so much for me ever telling mom I would be a virgin until I got married, I was sure she wad going to have a field day about it I was sure I was going to get the worst lectures of me 16 year old life I wondered what everyone would say and think about me I knew right now I needed to speak to Rani so as soon as school was off I went directly to fetch Rani I wanted her opinion before I told Josh tonight about the baby I just couldn't even believe I had this thing growing Inside of me. 
As soon Rani was out I pulled her along with me down to the path of my house she usually isn't surprised but that day she was because she saw me all puffy eyed snorted nose and a groggy voice.

She knew me will enough to know something was wrong with me and she didn't say anything until we reached my bedroom.