My Life Is A Circus

Eternal Paradox

Always have been inadequate,

I was the person who was underestimated,

Only known as the constant nuisance,

They all cruelly shut off the lights,

Cut off the ties,

And so then fantasy wasn't hard to fabricate.

I remained alone,

One-bye-one my sanity had been plucked,

Out of my mind so I waited.

Why couldn't I die at that moment?

Where people who disrespected me and forgot,

All aspects of integrity?

We were all people,

But humanity didn't exist anymore.

Not when they laughed as I balled my eyes out,

And certainly not when nobody asked if I was all right.

So I say, what humans are we?

The ones who were allegedly supposed to care for one another?

Time passed and as I could hear the pendulum,

I conformed to the distraught society.

This system isn't what I live by.

I have my own system,

With my own sense of self-worth,

And it's own Ten Commandments.

Respect those who do what you never dared to do,

Incorporate them in mind and not body.

Political correctness doesn't exist,

It doesn't matter whether you are white, black,

Choose flight over fight, or cannot bounce back,

We shouldn't be so sensitive and that's what I've learned.

People will only judge you if you show an ounce of humility,

So toughen up and pretend like everything's okay,

That's a lie,

Sarcasm thickly laces my words as I think in complexity,

But that's not a possibility as you believe wind blows,

From one ear through to another.

I'm not air-headed,

Those words permanently embedded.

Merely opinionated and have a will to now live.

I spite those who do not manifest the ability,

To have a heart and a mind of their own.

We make up most of this corrupt system,

Along those who have forks in their tongues.

I've yet to call out,

Towards those who don't understand what I do.

My life is a circus,

Brain-scattered like fallen blocks,

Soul-battered by their eyes like hawks.

I am not angry,

But my point isn't clear enough.

A personal activist,

Raise the signs outside of the sanctuary,

That is myself,

And chant out in repetition,

About all of the things,

All you have done to me,

Society.

I love my system,

It is the epitome of peace and understanding,

No psychopathic drama,

No mental coma,

No discrimination,

Isolation,

Or bitter correlation.

Crawling out of the pits of darkness,

I was reborn into a place that controls us,

Like puppets in a grand play.

I've cut my strings,

But like a marionette I am motionless,

Speechless,

Wordless.

Never in my life had I been philosophical,

But now I see that without our own philosophies,

We are blending in with contrived fabric.

I've climbed out,

And I cannot help those who have fallen in.

I love this world and all that I've been taught,

But there are something's that I've never accepted.

It's remarkable how we can grow to know and love others,

That much is true as I peer over the corner of by bedroom,

Seeing my family interact and share laughs.

In my mind,

I've been alone for so many years,

But the mind is the most powerful, ugly, and beautiful thing,

This world has to offer.

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I kind of debated about posting this one or not because the criteria was about life struggle and understanding how to deal with what was going on in my mind. I really hope you enjoy it! :)

+Willie-Wright (a.k.a Natallie)