My Life Is A Circus

God, If You Are There

I'm utterly conflicted,

Internally constricted and that is constant,

Because I believe in believing,

In something wicked,

Somewhere beyond us,

But I don't know what that is.

God, if you are there,

Why do I feel so hurt because of you?

I can't find you anywhere,

And I mean no disrespect,

But praying doesn't seem to do,

Any good.

I'm scared that if the world,

Continues on the way that it does,

Believing in words on a piece of paper,

That there won't be a world anymore.

The interpretations of you scare me,

Perhaps because I don't know you how some people do.

Were you there when three died,

All in one year simultaneously?

Was that a part of your plan?

My dad didn't deserve it,

Because he is good,

And he loves more than anybody I know.

The way the people see you isn't fair,

But I am in that category.

Are you really you?

If you are then you should say something,

To the people who are murdering relentlessly,

Because you should love us equally.

God, I don't know if you are there.

If you are then I hope you can explain some things to me in heaven,

At least, I hope I can get there.

If you aren't then I am scared to die,

But in the end I will be myself either way,

And that is more important to me than the existence or idea of God.

__________________________________________________________

I just want to say that I didn't mean for this to be offensive if it is to any of you. I just had some questions about it that never made sense no matter what anybody told me. Either way, this was what I felt to write today.

So much love,

+Willie-Wright (a.k.a Allie)