My Life Is A Circus

When You Left

I heard you left before the summer,

A short time ago.

Rumors swarmed around us,

And it was so nonchalant that I blew it off.

I couldn't believe that it could be true,

That you would quit.

Along with the shock,

I was numbed from emotion,

Because you meant the world to me,

When I needed somebody to look up to,

To be inspired by,

And it hurt to recollect my thoughts.

You told me your struggles,

And in return I could say nothing,

But you were still there and you pushed me.

You broke me down, made me laugh, and I felt frustration.

When you left I wanted to go,

Just as you had.

And so many went just as you did because of what you said.

The unpredictability of whether or not you would return,

Stung and jabbed at me.

Like a snake you blamed and lied someone else,

And venom coursed through your veins for selfish purposes,

I didn't know what to think because I knew I couldn't believe you,

But I loved you so much.

You gave me anxiety attacks,

When I heard his name my heart would race,

I would tear up and my lungs would stop,

You made me sob helplessly again,

And I'll never forget the night when you told me,

At one o'clock why you left.

It was the first night I never slept,

Restlessly I tossed and turned in my sheets,

You made me think about everything,

And I felt hopelessly blind.

I couldn't see without your eyes,

But they told tales of selfishness.

I met him and his heart was pure,

His drive was true,

Even when you told me he was a manipulator,

But now that I know him I trust him with everything,

Because he inspires me,

Just as you once did.

It's ironic how things work out like this,

And though I may be naïve,

I know what your friends have said.

You've burned so many bridges,

But they never lead anywhere,

For you.

We will always love you,

Some more than others,

But that is inevitable.

I am not an airhead as much as I used to be,

Because of what you told me,

That day when we were alone.

With this, you have taught me so much.

How I should embrace creativity,

How to break through my shell,

How to be direct and not feel fear,

But in the end I am scared of you,

Because you had the power to warp my mind.

When nobody else could. 

______________________________________________

This is a pretty long one. I just decided to write something that had been bothering me since it happened. I don't know if this will be the last one about it either. It isn't a skillful poem because there aren't too many metaphors or anything, but either way, I hope you enjoyed it!

+Willie-Wright (a.k.a Allie)