~ The Legend ~ Bear Claw

chapter 47

~ Chapter 47 ~

"What? You can't do this, I can't do this without you" I tell him sitting up with panic clear on my face.

He's leaving because of me. Because I'm a monster.

He frowns at me "I have to, for the both of us and the pack"

My heart clenches painfully in my chest and without warning my eyes water, I feel my insides slowly tear themselves apart. He's been my best friend since birth, he's been my beta for seven years and my warrior for nine.

And he's going to leave. Just like that.

"Please cadell..I need you. Your my best friend, I..i can't loose you! I know I've been..cold and pushed you away but please don't leave...please don't leave me" I whisper barely holding back the tears. I could feel my heart hammering inside my ribcage. My brain hurting from the pain of my own tears.

He looks at me shocked and sad "seva I thought If I gave you space and time to yourself you would get better. I'd thought you'd heal and become the best friend I once knew. But I realise..your not her. Your not the carefree, innocent girl that I loved"

With each word my heart cracks a little more. He hates me. He hates me because im no longer weak.

"I promise I'll try..ill try and change. I don't want you to leave me, I can't handle loosing you as well because of my mistakes" I beg him, the alpha in me not caring if we look weak. He's my best friend, my warrior, my beta and my brother.

He shakes his head and grabs my hands in his firmly "I don't want you to change seva. I used to love the carefree you but I love this you even more. I don't want you to always be my alpha. I've seen you go through pain mentally and physically for this pack, I've seen you bleed to protect this pack and now..now I've seen you break. But youve everything alone, since we were eleven you've always put me and the men first. This time you won't be alone, you can put as much command on me as you want but I won't bow down because I'm not leaving" he tells me slowly in a firm tone.

I look at him feeling confused, received, peace, hope, pain, sadness and guilt.

"I put you all first because it was the right thing to do" I tell him softly as my voice slowly breaks.

He shakes his head "maybe, but it wasn't the right thing for you" he tells me squeezing my hands slightly.

"Tell me why. Tell me why you shut me out. Tell me why you put us first. Tell me why you turned cold. Tell me why you pushed me away" he asks loudly with his own pain in his voice and plastered on his face, unashamed to hide it.

My throat closes refusing me to form words and I shake my head looking away as I attempt to hold myself together.

How do I explain my own pain to someone who no longer knows me? Could I burden him with my own problems? My own fears? My own pain?

Tearing my hands from his I stand and glare at him coldly.

"Get out. Now" I tell him and he stands, if I use my alpha command he'll resist more than ever causing himself pain.

"Sev-" he tries.

"Get out." I grit my teeth and give him the most hateful look I could muster up. He wipes his eyes to stop the tears and I remind myself to be strong as he turns away and leaves.

As soon as the door shuts I feel my knees give out from beneath me, my pain knocking my legs from under me. Landing on the white tiles I see small drops of water hits them, it becomes apparent to me that I'm indeed crying.

For the first time in nine years I allow the tears to continue, I sob uncontrollably into the floor as I curl over. My form shaking from the sobs racking my body and I couldn't help the whimpers and quick breaths of air as I struggle to breath properly.

It was as if my world had shattered around me for the time that cried. Allowing all my pent up emotions to escape and make a mess of me, my parents death almost killed me before had it not been for cadell. How would I survive it again? Would it hurt less?

And what about my twin? Achilles? The one who gave his life up for the safety of mine? The one who searched for countless years for me? The one who wanted revenge for his twins death?

The one I grew up laughing, crying, and smiling with?

Could I be the one to end his life?

***

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