Redux (Discontinued)

Augen Auf !

The title is inspired by a song of the same name. Augen Auf (Eyes open!) by OOMPH! The video has its own story but lyrics helped me with Randhir's mindset. If you are a song person and make playlists, let me know of other songs you think belong to RD. He is a beautifully complex character and I love writing him even if he is difficult to get right. Dedicated to the person who probs loves and writes RD better than I can ever hope to!

(RANDHIR)

       College was supposed to be his salvation. Hostel life was supposed to be the guardian angel which took his mind off the life he had at home. Instead, it just made everything worse. Jiggy as usual, loyal but prim and proper Jiggy, was the only familiar and non judgmental face that Randhir had seen so far. Jiggy requested him to take things easy. To accept that he was not like the others, treat it as a unique feature rather than a dividing line. To ignore the glances and the whispers

     But Randhir was neither blind nor was he deaf. His life so far and dispelled the notion of ignorance being bliss. For Randhir, ignorance was a blind spot. A chink in the armor. A weakness that someone could use against him. And he was done with that. He was done with being stabbed in the back. He was done being kept in the dark.

Knowledge was power, and if you had power, you couldn't be hurt.

He'd do anything to prevent the stinging in his eyes, the awkward dryness of his throat. The ache in his chest.

So Randhir made it his business to know. He didn't restrict his knowledge to just books and theories. Books and theories were just a warning, a cover. An alibi.

Randhir made it his business to know people. Their past and their present. Their goals and their fears.He  stored it away in his head like a person preparing for the apocalypse would store weapons. It was better to be safe than sorry and there was nothing Randhir hated more than being sorry. He had an interminable hate for that word, so much that the word had lost all meaning for him. Sorry fixed nothing. It was the equivalent of rubbing salt into open, festering wounds.

Randhir never used that word. He didn't trust it. And he sure as hell did not trust people who used that as an excuse to get away with murder. Yes, breaking someone's heart and spirit was the cleverest and cleanest from of murder.

It was defensive offense after all. And should it come to it, should he have to use it, Randhir would break someone else's heart in a second if it meant saving his own.

But that was not the Randhir most people saw. They only saw what they he showed them. He knew he did not have complete control over what people thought of him. After all, he was the controversy child. Almost getting expelled for smoking on the campus in junior high. Almost crashing his father's bike. Almost jumping off the terrace. Almost egging his mother's company. Almost.

There were whispers that were in his favor and whispers that were against him. They were like annoying buzzes.

But he knew ignoring them was a big mistake.

It didn't take long for soft whispers to become loud accusations.

They whispered about him and he heard. Hot. Brilliant.Genius. Tragic. Troubled. Don't mess with him.

Randhir Singh Shekhawat. The prodigy.

No body saw the lonliness and the longing behind his confident face.

And that was just how he liked it. He would keep it that way, no matter what or who tried to break the illusion.

'Weakness is nothing more than a plea for destruction. '

And he refused to be torn apart again.

A/N: I'm eliminating the Karan character. My Randhir will not be petty enough to hold a grudge against Sanyu who earned her seat via scholarship for "depriving Karan" of the seat. Also, I cannot access the written updates of the first two weeks of season one. Please forgive me for diverging from the show where some parts are concerned.

I am overwhelmed by the reads, especially because I mostly wrote only Vidarth fanfiction. Sandhirians are dedicated to their ship through thick and thin. It's so encouraging to see the love! I hope you enjoy reading!