Pretty Boy ☆ Joshler

seventeen

"I'm so proud of you, J, your first kiss," Brendon's voice gushed through the speakers on Josh's laptop. Josh was vegged out on his bed, studying a calculus worksheet, the rest of his homework in a messy pile a few feet away from him. It had been a long day, not only because his hijinks with Tyler had ruined his sleep schedule, but because he had done everything in his power to avoid Tyler during school that day. He kept replaying last night in his head, causing him to grin at random times at what seemed like nothing to onlookers. At the same time, the previous night made his stomach wrench. He had no idea if their kiss brought Tyler dreams or nightmares and he was not prepared to find out yet.

Josh snorted, "It was not."

"Well, I'm sure it felt like it, right?" Brendon emptied a handful of chips into his mouth. Josh shrugged and made a small humming noise, he couldn't argue with that.

"Has he said anything about it yet?"

Josh shook his head. "Yesterday night was the last time we talked."

Brendon looked disappointed and scoffed, "You mean to tell me you finally got up the guts to make a move and you didn't even talk to him today?"

"I was going to talk to him today. I just- I don't know. I was nervous." The anticipation of an awkward conversation had kept Josh from seeking Tyler out at school today. He knew he couldn't hold it off forever, but for now, he found comfort in the fact that not knowing hurt way less than possible rejection.

"Shame on you! You've probably hurt his feelings. You should text him right now." Brendon's face was small in the window on Josh's desktop. "I'm serious, J."

Josh hadn't thought of the possibility that Tyler could be experiencing the same problem that he was right now. It made his heart hurt just a little to think of Tyler staring at his phone waiting for a text that had yet to be sent. "Okay, okay. I'm doing it right now..."

"Josh, I can see you."

"Fine!" Picking up his phone, Josh let the calculus worksheet flutter towards the homework pile on his bed; he didn't know the answers anyway. Josh could feel his heart rate rising already.

Jishwa💘: Hey Ty

"Alright, it's done." Josh hid his phone under his thigh to keep from staring at the dark screen in anticipation. Immediately, his hand was glued to his mouth and he let himself engage in his horrible habit. God, he had to stop biting his nails.

"Great. I'm proud of you," Brendon grinned.

"Why do I feel like this is going to end badly?" Josh rested his chin on his free hand.

"Because you are a ball of anxiety."

"You know me so well." Josh's thigh buzzed and his heart imitated the action. He grabbed his phone, both eager and apprehensive about the new message on the screen.

Tyjo🌹: Jishwa we need to talk :(

Joshua gulped, his mouth dry. Maybe his actions had been justified. Maybe for once, he had been anxious for a reason. Maybe last night was the worst kiss Tyler had ever had. Maybe he should just apologize to save Tyler the energy of explaining why they shouldn't see each other again. His heart was still pounding and he hadn't cried in a while but he thought he should brace himself anyway.

Jishwa💘: I'm sorry...

Brendon cleared his throat. "Hey, it's a little quiet over there. Everything okay?" Josh didn't answer. He stared silently at his phone screen until it lit up again.

Tyjo🌹: You should be. You didn't talk to me at all today. I missed you.

Josh exhaled; beyond relieved. He wiped his hand on his pant leg and a small smile threatened to overtake his face. "Everything's just fine."

Jishwa💘: i'm sorry about that ty. I missed you too.

"What's he saying?" Brendon had already invested in the story of Tyler and Josh's relationship. Josh had berated him when he started using the term 'Joshler' to talk about both boys.

Tyjo🌹: meet me at the park in 20? bring snacks

"I have to go, Bren. I'm going to the park," Josh said this as he typed an affirmative response to Tyler.

"Yes, J! Go! Get that boy!" Brendon almost made his chips fall off of his bed in excitement.

Josh let out a breathy laugh, "Thanks for the support pal." He said goodbye before shutting his laptop.

Getting up, he gave his closet the evil eyes as he stretched. He resented the lack of choice in his outfits. The t shirt and jeans currently on him were better than any of the few articles of clothing in his closet. Scanning his room, he saw a nice shirt crumpled in a pile of other equally smelly clothes and he knew it wasn't worth it. He slipped on the Vans he had worn earlier, grabbed his phone and made swiftly for the stairs.

He took the steps two at a time and halted in the kitchen. Opening the pantry, he weighed his food options while absentmindedly tugging at a stray thread on his shirt. He grabbed the family size bag of his favorite chips and lightly tossed them onto the counter. Moving to the fridge, he mentally gauged what was fresh and what probably belonged in the trash. His eyes landed on a container of raspberries and he pulled them out, popping one into his mouth. Healthy snacks cancel out junk food, right?

He opened the drawer next to the refrigerator and pulled out a fresh pad of sticky notes and an almost empty pen. Quickly, he scrawled out a note for his mom and stuck it onto the fridge. He made an effort to slow himself down. Tyler had told him twenty minutes, not two. Having not seen Tyler all day, Josh was unusually excited to go to the park. He opened his front door and stepped outside, snacks in hand.

Clouds were blocking the sun but they were bright white, giving the impression that rain was unlikely. It was warm but the wind was frequent and they balanced each other out nicely. Josh appreciated the feeling of fresh air filling his lungs and started a brisk walk on the path to the park.

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A/N: I got a lot of stuff done in my life while I was gone. License, job, SAT, AP classes, Student Council. My easily disenchanted personality paired with my ADD would not allow for me to do all of those things while simultaneously attempting to run fan accounts and write stories. My mental availability is fleeting and I can't promise regular updates to this story. At the same time, it's also extremely easy to make me feel guilty so it's most likely that I won't abandon this story altogether. All I can say is I'm sorry to those who are emotionally invested in this story, but if you're willing to be very patient, I'd love to continue this story for you. Thank you.