So Wrong, It's Right

Holly (Would You Turn Me On?)

(I'm haunted by everything, that you gave me, you made me, you broke me, you saved me, I'm crazy but I'm not done.)

I woke up early on Saturday, feeling the crisp winter air on my skin as Alex pulled me into his frame. It was December 14th, and Alex was 18 today. I softly moved his arms from around me to turn and face him, planting kisses over his bare body to gently wake him up. He stirred, his eyes slowly beginning to open and a smile formed on his face. "Good morning birthday boy." I whispered, kissing his lips properly before we both sat up and put on some clothes before his parent's inevitably came in to give Alex his presents. He got up and headed over to his dresser, opening it and tossing me one of his Early November tees that he got from supporting them last month. It was an incredible experience for them and they got introduced to a guy called Keith who set up a meeting early next year with Hopeless records. The guys couldn't wait.

I put it on and grabbed my grey booty shorts from my overnight bag, putting them on as Alex put on some boxers before getting back into bed with me. "Want one of your presents now..." I teased, tracing my finger in random shapes over his chest "or...later tonight?" I looked up at him through my eyelashes and bit my lip. He gulped, thinking about it for a few seconds before we were interrupted by his parents coming in and singing the happy birthday song. Alex blushed as I giggled and sang along while they brought in his presents. "Now son, I know this isn't much but seen as Christmas is in just over a week, we decided to give you your main present then." Peter says. Alex nodded as his parents sat on the end of his bed, watching him eagerly as he ripped through the wrapping paper.

About an hour later we were heading to school. Alex's parents had got him a new Gibson sg guitar in orange to match the yellow one he already had and had used in their first music video for 'Circles' that a guy called Matt Grube was filming for them. That day we'd all headed to the Sheffield Studio for Performing Arts and me and some other girls with Grieco and Matt watched as the guys did some live shots and messed around on a couch, laughing as they attacked one another.

When we got to school, Alex and I were greeted by our friends who began to sing to the birthday boy who decided to muck around and do a little dance as they sang. Everyone was pretty happy today anyway, seen as we were finalizing our work for the work study program that was starting in January. I was going to go and work at 98Rock the radio station a few times a week when school finished because I wanted to go into media and journalism at college. The guys, however were able to convince our guidance councillor that the band was work, seen as they were also talking to labels and on the verge of getting a record deal, which was really cool and I was glad they were finally getting noticed.

Our first lesson today was with our homeroom teacher as we finalized it all, as well as finishing our college applications and making sure they're all ready to be sent off tomorrow. I'd applied to Towson college, as well as some others and a University in London that was good for music journalism while Alex just hadn't applied anywhere. All the guys were becoming more focused on the band, especially Alex and he just wasn't enjoying school anymore and his grades were really slipping. While I was had my GPA of 4.2, his was 1.4. I tried my hardest to make him improve and try in school, but he just didn't care anymore, he wanted All Time Low to be his job so bad that's all he focused on. Alex and I were beginning to grow apart and I was scared. As I sat down at my desk, filling in the last of my personal details as well as the work placement form before Alex distracted me too much so I didn't get it done. Luckily I knew that him, Rian and Jack all had to go to the guidance councillor about their work placement, handing in their parent's consent forms, because even though the band was creditable for graduating, there were still some...let's say grey areas.

Their meeting took 20 minutes, and by the time Alex came back in smiling, I was done and everything was handed in so I just sat there drawing while I listened to Futures. I was definitely the most prepared for college and work placement, mainly because I knew how hard it was to get into a journalism course anywhere, let alone make it even more specific to music. People wanted to be doctors, business people and stuff like that, sure people wanted to do journalism, but there are more places that do that then music journalism. I had to apply for electronic media at Towson because they didn't do journalism, which sucked.

Alex came and sat on the corner of my desk, smiling. I pretended to ignore him for a bit, just because he looked cute when he pouted and I wanted to finish my picture, so while he sat there looking down at me, I shaded in and added the final details before looking up and him and smiling. "I'm guessing by the look on your face it's all approved, and being in a band is now your job occupation?" I said, smiling as he nodded, his eyes full of happiness and excitement looking into mine. He nodded, still smiling before taking an interest in my drawing, "Is that me?"

I nodded, holding up the picture of him I'd drawn. His eyes were closed as he sang into the microphone, his hands above his head the way he sang the special parts of songs, his new guitar around his front and he was in a spotlight. I tried to make sure every detail was correct, down to the untied, messy-looking converse on his feet. I'd drawn him alone, not because I thought he would be a solo artist, just because, sometimes when I hear his voice, it's as if no one else in the world exists but us, and I felt special.

I handed the picture to him and watched as he looked at it. Whenever he looked at any of my drawings he would do it in silence so he could take it all in; he loved watching me draw. He would just sit there in silence and watch, fascinated and see how the picture came together just the way I watched him when he wrote lyrics or sang to me. At times like that, I thought we were perfect for each other, but I would be brought back to reality and doubt that when he blew me off to do things concerning the band or make excuses to not study with me for it. I hoped we could survive after graduation, but deep down I had a feeling we wouldn't.