So Wrong, It's Right

Remembering Sunday

(Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling, I'm calling at night. I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams, and it's driving me crazy, it seems...)

Luckily, I was excused from English and just had to hand my project in before I drove myself home, much to the distaste of the nurse, who didn't want me driving but she saw my dilemma. I could tell before I even entered the house Alex was still at mine, and I groaned, just wanting to curl into a ball in my room and want the nausea I felt to go away, but I knew that would never happen because Alex would wanna look after me. I sighed, turning the key in my door as my stomach began to knot again, and I just ran up the stairs to the bathroom and locked the door.

I could hear Alex knocking on the door alarmed, but I couldn't do anything to even reassure him I was okay. When I finally thought I was done, I flushed the toilet and managed to stagger up, holding onto the sink as my felt light-headed, and brushed my teeth. Thank god it was a Friday and I didn't have to worry about school tomorrow. When I was done, I slowly walked over to the door, unlocking it and began making my way out when Alex's arms engulphed me, doing nothing to help my stomach cramps at all. "Alex...I really don't feel well..." I murmured into his chest, and I could feel him guiding me to my room. My head was spinning as he tried to both undress me and keep me upright as he changed me into some sweatpants and one of his tshirts before putting me in my bed, tucking me in.

Over the next few hours I drifted in and out of consciousness, but everytime I managed to open my eyes, or wake Alex was sitting on the side of my bed, prepared with the bowl from the kitchen sink, some water and a dishcloth. He'd also managed to tie my hair back while I was sleeping, and he was singing my lullaby as I lay there, making me feel a little better. The only way I could tell time was passing was by the streets getting darker, and by the time it was time for dinner, Alex coaxed me awake and carried me dowstairs to make me eat something, because I hadn't eaten for over a day.

I sat there at the breakfast counter, the washing up bowl on one side, a large glass of water on the other as I sleepily watched Alex attempt to make some form of food before restorting to putting two pizzas in the oven and sitting beside me, rubbing my back for comfort. As the pizza cooked though, the smell began to make me feel even worse, and I just shook my head and bolted upstairs again to be sick, but nothing was coming out. What was wrong with me?

I'd never felt this bad before, and I was sure it wasn't stress, because I'd been through worse than the past few weeks and I'd never reacted this way to it before. As I sat against the cold tiled bathroom wall, I went through everything I could think of. Food poisoning...nope. Gas leak...nope. Allgeric reaction to a food...nope. Poisoning...I hope not. Pregnant...nope. Hang on...pregnant?

I sat there trying to think of the date. It was March 17th. My period was four days late. Shit.

I had to keep calm. I couldn't tell Alex this, and I needed him to leave but that wasn't going to be easy. I also needed to get a pregnancy test somehow, but I was in no state to drive to the drug store or convenience store to get one, and if I did Alex was sure to follow me. I had two options, one was calling Kara and telling her, and the other was telling my mom. If I went with Kara, I'd have to put her in the awkward position of lying to Alex and the guys, keeping it from then until I knew what I wanted to do if I was pregnant. If I told my mom...she'd be crushed. If I told her I'd get rid of it...she'd understand. Why was this all so fucking hard!

After mulling every scenario out in my head, I realized it was best to wait for my mom, because she'd been through so much with me, and she was likely to tell me how stupid I was having sex with Alex without using a condom, and that I was ruining my future if I kept it, as well as ruining Alex's future. If I told her Alex didn't know, she'd probably wonder why I hadn't told him, but then understand and keep it a secret for me too.