Scarlet Tears: A collection of poems, stories and quotes about self harm

I have scars on my thighs and a story to tell

I have scars on my thighs and a story to tell:

One of an angel who was living in hell -

A desperate spiral, a shiny blade,

A rope hanging down, a bed unmade.

My heart was broke, my mind was set,

‘Soon enough they will forget’.

I saw no bright light at the end of the tunnel,

I only saw end to my inner struggle.

It never stopped, the cuts kept me alive,

I needed only blood to survive.

I loathed the world, the world loathed me,

So I thought, infinitely.

I could never speak the feelings inside my head,

I used a razor; let my problems run red.

Depression to me was a lonely cloud,

I kept my hope down and my head bowed.

I was lost and felt so alone,

Crying with no friend to phone.

Note how I’m speaking in the past, not present, tense

As my mind remembers these awful events;

As I’m standing here, now standing up strong,

I did find a way to carry on.

In my darkest hour, I found light

And strength to keep up the fight.

I thought my story was over, it’s just begun,

I was never alone, not the only one

Who suffered this disease - sickness of mind,

Somehow our lives are all intertwined.

I know your pain, know your despair,

I’m here to say; hope is there.

My message is simple and my words quite true,

I’ve been where you are, I’ve got many scars too.

Depression’s a cloud, in time it’ll go 

And you will be beneath a rainbow.

Suicide’s not your fate, my dear,

It’s only upwards from here. 

This is my final poem in this book. It's pretty incredible, and I'm crying now. Crying in a good way, though. When I first began this book, it started as an idea, the title stuck in my head. I wrote a poem called 'Scarlet Tears' that I didn't think was very good but it related to the title so I stuck it in. I came on Wattpad over a year ago now because I love writing and wanted to see it my poems and stories would get anywhere. I wanted to use this as a site purely for feedback, but when I first set it up I didn't think I'd get anywhere at all. Just over a year on, I have a book that's almost got 50,000 reads and I get a lot of messages from beautiful, amazing people telling me how I've helped them, and how my writing has helped them. This is all I ever aimed to do, and I think it's simply wonderful how much something small, like a poem or a quote, can help someone. All I wanted to do was see if I could help one person, and I thought that if I could help one person then I would have something to be proud of. And to this day, I've helped and spoken to over 40 different people over the period of 2 years. This may not seem like much, but to me it's a dream come true. I'm proud of you guys, you guys are the reason I wake up and write. I've spent the last few months away from Wattpad, just as a final push so the last few faint urges would go and they have, I'm proud to say that I'm self harm free! And that's the way it's going to stay. No relapses for me this time. But it's taken a very long time for me to get to this place. It's taken counselling, and talking to people, and ChildLine, and the school nurse, and friends and parents and people who genuinely want me to feel okay again. To those people who never gave up on me, I say thank you, and I dedicate this book to you. And to those out there on Wattpad, maybe you've never spoken to me before. Maybe you've seen one of my poems before, maybe you've heard a bit about it. Maybe you never knew I existed. But please, I'm around with a big old heart to listen with if you ever need a person to rant at, someone who really listens. I'm that someone. Please don't hesitate to message me, or leave a comment below saying whatever you want. I'm just going to leave you on a beautiful quote that I think sums up you guys.

"Only when there is deep darkness do true stars shine"

I love you guys. Peace out.