Scarlet Tears: A collection of poems, stories and quotes about self harm

Breathe Me

"Help ... I have done it again"

I sit on the edge of my bed, curled up, as if it would warm up my icy heart.

"I have been here many times before"

I thought I had changed, God, I was doing so well. I was changed ... so why am I back here again?

"Hurt myself again today"

But it's not just me I'm hurting. Every stroke I make with that stained razor is breaking apart my family in unfathomable ways.

"And the worst part is there's no one else to blame"

It was my fault. I can't take it back, I have those damned scars to prove it. I did it. It was me, the words they scream and the looks of daggers they shoot and the rumours they spread can't cut my skin, only I can. Only me.

"Be my friend"

I need someone here, I need someone to --

"Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me - I am small ..."

And someone to stop the scarlet tears from rolling down my rainbow wrists..

"And needy, warm me up"

I'm not easy, people give up on me. Maybe that's why I'm all so quick to give up on myself. I need care, someone who will love me for the broken, damaged girl I am; sitting on this bed, clutching a well-used razor as if it was my last lifeline - instead of the perfect, smiling girl I pretended to be; laughing and joking with my clueless friends gathered around me - or the kind, helpful girl I used to be. I just want someone to love me, help me ...

"And breathe me ..."

Can I just say, this is taken from a beautiful song by Sia, it is called Breathe Me and it is pretty symbolic in my life. It is about her coping with the loss of her fiance, but to me it is about dealing with the loss of control, and 'turning to the blade' again. I was listening to it and this little 'short story/prose/very awkward poem' came to light. Thankyou for reading (: stay strong <3