Bee Shrek Test in the House

PART 10: The Tour Bus

"Alright BBoys, tell me about yourselves!" said MattyB.

"I'll start." said Barry. "I am Barry the Bee and basically, I am a bee that can fucking talk."

"What about you Shrek?" asked MattyB.

"I would tell you about myself if Cory stopped poking me with his large boner." said Shrek.

"You know you like it, honey." said Cory.

"You're right. I should have complained that you're not poking me hard enough." said Shrek.

"Well I'll skip you two lovebirds for now." said MattyB.

"Thank you." said Test.

"Let's go to Ian." said MattyB.

"I don't want to talk about it." said Ian.

"Why?" asked MattyB.

"It's because he's dealt with unfortunate events in his life that should not be discussed." said Blart.

"No," Ian corrected Blart, "It will just make Cory harder."

Everyone was in shock, except for Shrek and Cory, who were all over each other.

"So Kool-Aid Man, is that right?" asked MattyB.

"What else do I look like?" The Kool-Aid Man raised his voice. "What else could I be, a pitcher of fucking Caprisun?! YES, I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN!!"

"Sorry.." said MattyB.

"Who else has a fucking talking pitcher filled with a red liquid? TELL ME!!" shouted the Kool-Aid Man.

"No one else.." said MattyB.

"So then why the actual fuck would you question who I am?! Everybody knows the.." the Kool-Aid Man heard the word Kool-Aid spoken by a kid nearby.

Not one second later, there was a huge hole in MattyB's tour bus, and there was a note left.

"Let me see what the note said." said Mike.

"Sit the fuck down!" said Test. "I've been practicing my reading, and I want to read it!"

"Dear MattyB," read Johnny. "You're a piece of shit, but I wrote this to inform you that I slowed time so much that I fucked you in the ass and force fed you Kool-Aid.  I also took time to write this letter to your stupid ass, and apologize for my extremely short temper.  By the way, I heard you reading this letter, and be informed that as soon as you're done reading this, I will have already delivered Kool-Aid to that child and his smoking hot buddies, and MattyB, when you heard your name just now, I fucked you in the ass again.  Check your right butt cheek.  Pause from reading this, Test. Yes, I just edited it as you had it in your hand. Bitch, I am quick, now put it down and check MattyB's ass together."

MattyB lowered his undies and saw that the Kool-Aid Man had written "OH YEAH!!!" in permanent marker.  The letter appeared right in front of Test's hands. 

Test continued reading, "With this last sentence, I am rushing back to the bus and have repaired it just right about.. now, and tell MattyB to look up and SPLAT! My cum landed all over his face! Tell him to get my name right next time, or else this torment will continue. With so much love, the Kool-Aid Man.  P.S. Call me Daniel, I've always liked that name and look right behind you, MattyB. Another message."

The Kool-Aid Man was right behind MattyB. 

"Don't hurt me; is this not enough, Daniel?" asked MattyB.

"Oh yeah! Since you called me Daniel, I will forgive you." said Daniel.

"Why?" asked MattyB.

"That was the safety word." said Daniel.

"You can really slow time by that much?" asked MattyB.

"Did you not see what I just did?" asked Daniel. "It only works when someone talks about how much they love Kool-Aid and how they wish they had some. Then, anything goes."

"Shit.." said Test.

"Oh yeah.." said Daniel.

"Is anybody thirsty?" asked Daniel.

"MattyB isn't anymore." said Mike.

"Haha, really fucking clever!" said Test.

"Have Shrek and Cory really been at it this whole time?" asked Barry.

"Yes we have!" said Cory, while still moaning.

"Ok, we're here MattyB!" said the bus driver.

"Let's get down to business, shall we?" asked MattyB.

"Shrek and Cory are way ahead of you." said Ian.

"Ok, we'll stop." said Cory.

Shrek and Cory got off of each other.

As soon as they all got off of the bus, they were escorted backstage by a fat, black security guard named Kirby.

"This place is cool!" said Ian.

"How are you liking the place, Shrek?" asked Donkey.

He turns around to see Cory and Shrek back at it again and turns around.

For the next hour, it was hard to talk over the noises Shrek and Cory were making.

"I need some fresh air" said MattyB. "Let me step outside really quickly."

As he stepped outside, MattyB heard a voice.

"Here's Jared!" said the voice.

Ian immediately rushed outside. Jared and MattyB were gone.

"MattyB is gone, guys!" screamed Ian. "Kirby!!"

"What?" asked Kirby.

"MattyB is missing!" said Ian.

"No worries. We have a temporary replacement.  Meet Jacob Sartorius." said Kirby as Jacob entered in the room.

"Shit, we're on in one minute! Jacob, what can you rap?" asked Ian.

"The ABC's" said Jacob.

Jacob approached the stage. Just as he was about to start rapping, Daniel heard something.

From a distance, Daniel heard MattyB shout, "Man I wish I had some Kool-Aid!"

He also heard Jared say, "Oh yeah!!!". 

Daniel disappeared from the area.

A note fell on Ian's hands, and it said "Be right back, and by the way, I fucked you in the ass."

Ian smiled.