Bee Shrek Test in the House

PART 14: Stuck in North Korea

"Welcome to North Korea!" said Jared. "This will be where you naughty boys will be staying for a very long time."

"Don't call us that." said Ian.

"I can call you whatever the fuck I want!" said Jared.

"Could you please just take our asses back to the House?" asked Donkey.

"We were just there, remember?" said Jared.

"Yeah, of course I remember being in chains for half an hour waiting for you and gay Casper to somehow convince Kim Jong Un to let us stay in this damn prison." said Donkey.

"The answer is still no." said Farquaad.

"I was talking to Jared." said Donkey.

"No." said Jared.

"How did you even convince him to let us stay here without getting killed for being American?" asked Ian. "Also, why was nobody in the House? Who was responsible for that one?"

"Ian, let's not ask questions that would result in me shoving my entire fist up your ass." said Jared. "Those questions are making me horny, so I suggest you stop talking."

Ian stopped talking.

After a minute of complete awkward silence, Jared stopped walking.

"So I am going to ask a question." said Jared. "MattyB, do any of these two cells look comfortable to you?"

"They don't look that comfortable." said Mike.

"WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU TO SPEAK, YOU GREEN BALL OF SHIT?!" Jared asked furiously. "BECAUSE YOU SPOKE WHEN NOT SPOKEN TO, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU, BUT YOU WILL FIND THAT OUT LATER!"

"These cells do not look that comfortable." said MattyB.

"Then we did our jobs, didn't we Farquaad?" asked Jared.

"We sure did." said Farquaad.

"MattyB, you will be sharing the cell on my right, basically the way you're looking at it, so if you were inside looking directly at the bars, you would be on the left, with Ian." said Jared.

"Donkey, you were going to share the other available cell with Mike and Doke, but since Mike thinks it's okay to interrupt me, you will only be sharing a cell with Doke." said Jared.

"So then where am I going to stay?" asked Mike.

"DID YOU. FUCKING NOT. LEARN YOUR GODDAMN LESSON. FROM LAST TIME?!!?" Jared screamed. "I was about to change my mind and put you with Ian and MattyB instead, but since you HAD to talk, we are going to give you a cage the size of the Kool-Aid Man!"

"His name is Daniel." said Mike.

"Now, that cage will be hanging from the roof!" said Jared. "By a chain that is about a meter long. If you even think of speaking again when not spoken to, I will make sure Ian and MattyB can't walk correctly ever again. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Jared." said Mike.

"Good." said Jared. "Now everybody get into your cells!"

Everybody except for Mike got into their cells. Mike raised his hand.

"HOW MAY I HELP YOU?!" asked Jared.

"Where is my cage?" asked Mike.

"Thanks for reminding me!" said Jared. "It will be done shortly, but not done safely. This means the chain has a possibility of breaking, and you would fall down."

"Sweet." said Mike.

After a minute, Jared asked a few people to set up the cage Mike was going to be staying in. The cage was in terrible condition.

"Get in." said Jared.

Mike proceeded to get in, and was then pulled up to where he would be hanging from.

"Good night, retards!" said Jared.

"Wait, what are we going to eat?" asked Ian.

"Oh, I forgot you're a fatass and that fatasses worry about that all the time." said Jared. "Well, the only thing available right now until the morning is a cum shot to the face from me, would you like that Ian?"

Ian did not reply.

"That's what I thought." said Jared. "If any of you get hungry, feel free to eat each other out. Except for you Mike, I don't know what to do about you."

"By the way," said Farquaad. "Donkey, you better not call me Gay Casper ever again unless you want to be punished."

"I can't promise anything." said Donkey.

"You better." said Farquaad.

Jared and Farquaad left.

"Good night everyone." said Mike.

"Shut up." said Doke.

"First Johnny and now you?" said Mike.

"Remember he does own me, and I am his dog." said Doke. "He hates you, so that means I do, as well."

"Right." said Mike.

Everybody went to sleep after a few hours of trying to get comfortable. The next day, everybody was woken up by an air horn.

"Care to explain this?" said Jared, showing Donkey and Doke a picture.

Donkey and Doke were surprised.

"What is it?" asked Ian.

"It's a picture from the spy footage of Daniel and Paul Blart." said Doke. "That's funny, Daniel wrote "OH YEAH!" on the wall using Kool-Aid powder."

"If that doesn't send a message, then I don't know what does." said Ian.

"Well, we're gonna be alright guys." said MattyB.

MattyB smiled.

"Smile while you can." said Jared. "Only a matter of time until you figure out that smiling wasn't the right thing to do."

"Sure." said MattyB.

"I won't tell you what to believe anymore, I'll just let you decide that for yourself as time goes by." said Jared.

Blart and Daniel were listening to this from the spy camera room. Before looking at any footage, Daniel fucked everyone in that room multiple times, tied everyone in that room up, and threw them outside of the prison.

"Do you think they're aware of what we're capable of?" asked Blart. "I'm only saying this because Jared seems to be really confident."

"OH YEAH!" said Daniel. "I'm sure they'll know."

"Let's hope we can get them out of there." said Blart.

"I'll be right back." said Daniel. "Just complain about not having Kool-Aid."

"Man, I wish I had some Kool-Aid. I'm so thirsty." said Blart.

He looked at the video of the spy camera pointing right at the group.

"Okay, hang on, I just got a sharp pain." said Jared.

"Was it in the ass?" asked Ian.

"How did you know?" asked Jared.

"I've been there many times." said Ian. "You and I both know that."

Blart heard Daniel appear right behind him.

"I'm back." said Daniel.

"That was completely necessary." said Blart. "Why did you need to do that?"

"It was just a sign." said Daniel.

"A sign of what?" asked Blart.

Daniel paused before saying, "WE'RE HERE."