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t w o

Shakily, I raise my fist and connect it with the painted wooden door before me. I knock three times with my knuckle and wince in the anticipation and nervousness I feel. Constantly, I check over my shoulders and look around to see if Brian followed me or not. All the while my heart pounds in my chest, praying silently in my head that the door will be opened soon and that they aren't out somewhere.

The door opens up wide and I look at the boy standing there. He's just a few inches shorter than me, with an athletic build. Light brown, fluffy, hair that sits on his forehead swept off to the side. Like me, he's also wearing sweatpants though he is also wearing a maroon sweatshirt with gold script writing. He's barefoot too, obviously having just gotten up a small while ago.

"Troye?" His voice is rough and husky, having not spoken to anyone all day, "What's wrong?"
"Can I come in?" My voice cracks and falters and Connor nods at my question. After Connor steps out of the way, I walk into his apartment and he shuts the door behind us. I walk immediately to the couch and sit down on one of the gray cushions, Connor doing the same and sitting beside me. That's when I break down.

"Hey, it's okay. Everything's okay now." Connor wraps his arms tightly around my body as I begin to shake like a leaf in his arms. His voice is soothing and calming to my ears, his arms muscular and tight around my torso. Through his sweatshirt, I can hear his steady heartbeat pounding consistently. A muffled sob escapes my lips and Connor buries his face into the chocolate curls of my hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I feel another tear slip out from my eye and I sit up completely to face Connor.
"B-Brian and I go-got in a f-fight last night and th-this morning." The words come out of me broken, considering I'm still crying and hiccuping in sadness. I consider telling Connor about the pain I still feel in my cheek but I decide against it. Deep down however, I know I have to tell Connor about it.

"He-He got mad. And he h-hit me." I spit the words out right before a strangled sob escapes my lips. Connor's face falls and he brings my head back into his chest.
"I'm so sorry, Tro. He'll never lay a hand on you again." Against his chest, I shake my head and allow myself to fall apart.
"I can't go back there Con! I don't want to go back to him!" Connor attempts to wrap his arms around me tighter, trying to shield me from everything, especially Brian.

"Look Tro, you deserve forever. Not a boy looking for better!" Connor lifts my head up carefully. I lock my eyes with his green ones again, and feel his thumbs wipe underneath my eyes to rid of my tears from my face.
"I'm not letting you go back today, alright? You can stay here with me as long as you want and when you want to face Brian, I'll go with you." Through my final sobs, I nod my head at his question and comment.

For the rest of the morning and into the early evening, I sit with Connor on his couch. We eat lunch, consisting of mac and cheese from the box, and watch movies while I cry. Connor is always there to comfort me, always there for to calm me down. At one point, I fall asleep and slouch down onto Connor while we watch some cheesy Hallmark movie. All the while, I forget about Brian and I forget about the pain he caused me.

The pain that was inflicted seems to almost be short lasting, perhaps transient. I have managed to push all of the pain I have into the dark depths of the back of my mind. Connor has helped me forget the aching in my heart that I have been dealt today. I know that as soon as I see Brian again, the wound will be opened up again and the words will continue to sting the tear in my heart.

"Do you want anything?" Connor softens his voice when he speaks to me and I nod like a five year old at the question.
"Can I have some beer?" I look up at Connor, knowing he'll say yes and knowing that he has my favorite kind already. He nods and stands up, walking into the kitchen to grab us both a drink. Connor walks around the corner a minute later, both of our drinks in hand, and hands me one before he rejoins me on the couch. We cheers before I take a long sip of my drink.
"Let's drown out some pain."

〰

Hours pass.
Drinks are downed.
Laughter breaks.
And more tears are shed.

I'm now sitting cross-legged on the couch facing Connor. A drink is held sloppily in my hand, and he holds a bottle in one of his hands as well. As we speak our words are slurred and sloppy; having obviously had too much to drink.
"Brian's an asshole!" For what seems like the tenth time tonight, we're having the same conversation.
"I know! I should've just dumped his sorry ass months ago!" Connor laughs at my comment, a smile on his face.

"You deserve somebody better." Things get serious for just a moment when Connor speaks again. The laughter between us is gone and instead we just sit in silence. I bring myself to nod at the question, knowing what he's saying is true.
"You'll find them someday. But you never know you may know them already." I stare at Connor, my heart rate slowing down all at once as I speak again in a small voice.
"Perhaps I have."

I slowly lean in and press my lips onto Connor's. His lips remain pursed and stationary against mine, until he meekly begins to move his mouth in sync with me. He smiles against my lips before he pulls away just far enough any movement could bring us together again. When Connor leans back in, he locks our lips together, making me yearn for more than what I am getting from him at this very moment.

He places a warm hand onto my cheek and inches his body closer to mine. Eager for his body to become a part of mine, I guide one of my hands to the small of his back and pull his body onto my lap. By instinct he wraps his legs around my hips and loops his arms loosely around my neck. All the while, we keep our lips together and moving in a steady rhythm. The hand that was once on his back is now on his chest firmly; my fingers splayed out and gripping at the material of his sweatshirt. Suddenly, Connor's lips are no longer against mine and instead they are grazing against my neck lightly.

"B-But Tro, you have Brian." Connor's breath comes out warm on my skin and I just shake my head.
"I dumped him." The lie flies from my mouth like a bullet being fired from a gun.
"It's a little soon don't you think so, Troye?" I keep my blue eyes locked with his eyes and rub my thumb over the soft skin of his cheek.
"He hurt me why the hell should I care?" Connor's eyes pool with lust, the bright green eyes normally worn by him are darker.

My mind draws blank, the only thought going through my mind is of Connor. Not once do I think about Brian. All of the pain is gone, the alcohol doing everything now for me. The alcohol courses through my veins and ignites me with a fiery feeling of not pain nor guilt but lust. Deep down, I know this isn't right. Words want to spill from my mouth but I don't let them. I want to scream at myself, tell me that what I'm doing is wrong.

Instead I just let myself be led down the hallway and into Connor's bedroom.

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OOOH snap. I'm almost at school so I'll make this brief. I hope you guys liked the second chapter! Make sure to vote and comment your feedback!
xx, madi

PS: the Blackhawks lost last night so I'm in mourning soz