L is for Love

Chapter 4

As we were on our way down to the party, I could see someone outside the entrance. There was a guy with short brown hair and a girl with long brown wavy hair kissing outside. I couldn’t make out who it was until she turned; it was Cassie. Oh who’s the poor soul that she’s gotten her vicious claws into now? And that was it. The moment that made my heart wrench. I was Liam. I stopped walking to astonished and too distraught to make another move. Aria who had had her arm around my shoulders as we walked down the street picked up on the reason why I had stopped in my tracks and patted me on the back before saying “Stuff him Becks! He’s not worth it if he’s stupid enough to go with her!” She pulled me past Liam and Cassie who were now all over each other. I tried not to think about it as I made my way up the stairs but I couldn’t get it out of there. I wasn’t as if either of them were doing anything wrong as such, although Cassie’s intentions could be questioned, it was more the fact that I so wanted that to me. I was being stupid though even thinking that that could possibly happen. Who was I kidding? I had never even been kissed and I was setting my standards too high by even considering Liam.

“Becks! Stop it...I know what you’re thinking. And don’t! We’re going to have a blinking good time! Forget about him.”

The trouble is though I didn’t. Aria did though although that might have had something to do with the shots...and the cider... and the WKD that were consumed during the night.

We finally got to the top of the endless steps up to the bar. We went through the doors and into the room. Everyone from our year and the year below was there.  I looked around seeing what everyone was wearing, and eventually seeing Louise sitting on one of the sofas with Connor, the guy she’d been crushing on for ages. She was wearing a blue and pink floral dress which had a black waistband and some killer black heels. Louise always had really nice shoes and I always envied her because of them. I went over to talk to her; I hadn’t spoken to her in ages. We’d been really close for years but lately we hadn’t seen each other much despite going to the same sixth form.

“Where’ve you been? It’s like eight o’clock! Trust you lot to be late. Come and sit down!”

I walked over to her and squished down onto the black leather sofas. I started to explain what had happened but after a couple of minutes it became apparent that Louise wasn’t paying to what I was saying. She was too busy staring at Connor who had now moved up to the bar and was talking to a couple of guys and laughing. I smiled, almost laughing at myself. Louise was very much like me when it came to guys, she always liked them but would put herself down and wouldn’t do anything about it. The thing was she was really lovely and smart and if she put her mind to it she could have pretty much any guy she wanted.

“Go and ask him for a dance!”

“What Connor? Oh my god no!”

“Yes he’s clearly in to you just as much as you are into him”

“I’m not into Connor, Becks!”

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows before she relented and gave up the act.

“I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“But you’ll never know if you never try Lou!”

She sighed and reluctantly made her way up to him and before she knew it, he was following her onto the dance floor. She looked over at me and smiled before mouthing ‘thank you’. I smiled back and mouthed ‘You’re welcome!’. 

I made my way back to Aria and the gang; she was at this moment lying on Lee’s lap. She couldn’t stand and was falling back over on to him. Neither of them seemed to mind though. There was no room on any of the sofas so sat on the arm of both Anna’s and Ben’s armchairs. I liked Ben; in fact I liked Ben a lot. And taking the nights events into consideration, he was the nearest thing to a crush that I had. I would have been willing to talk to him for hours but Aria decided that she wanted to try and stand which was very unsuccessful. Anna and I managed to catch just before she fell to the floor though but there was no stopping her now that she was on her feet. She wanted to dance so she ran, somehow, to the dance floor and started dancing really weirdly, arms flying everywhere. Lots of people were watching by now and laughing and if they weren’t they were helping us to hold her up.

This went on for most of the night. By the end of the night Aria had had to be held up by nearly everyone. Me and Anna were getting tired by the end of the night from both holding her up and apologising to people for her. I wasn’t complaining though it was quite funny. Although I think when she tipped Dave’s drink over him that was slightly embarrassing because to anyone other than Aria, it was blatantly obvious that he was annoyed at her but she still continued to talk to him. Anna and I had to pull her away before she made even more of a fool of herself. But that didn’t go to plan because as soon as we pulled her away she ran over and sat back down on Lee’s lap and not long afterwards she was snogging him.

In fact they weren’t the only ones snogging. Jason was snogging Sian and Louise with Connor. I smiled, happy for my mates, but at the same time wishing that it could be me. It never seemed to happen for me. What was I doing so wrong?

Amy picked up on my misery. “Are you ok? Hey if it’s any consolation he was a loser Becks. Liam doesn’t deserve you.”

As much as I loved her looking out for me, she had just reminded me about what I had seen earlier on. I sighed and put a brave face on before noticing that Aria was lying on the floor. I turned back to Amy and laughed.

“Come on you... home!” I said struggling to pick my friend off the floor.

“Hey! Here I’ll help you!”

I looked over to see Jake running over to help me pick her up. We managed to lift her a little before she starting singing to herself. We both looked up and laughed and then something weird happened. We just stared into each other’s eyes and everything around us seemed to stop for a moment. And then it all came crashing down when Liam walked in again with Cassie. I looked over and looked down at the floor disappointedly. Liv came to my aid and helped both me and Jake to lift Aria completely. Able to carry her now we made our way out through the door and started home.

All the gang including Jason followed us out. Just as we were coming to the bottom of the steps on the way out, Aria fell pulling Emily over with her. Emily got to her feet with the help of Jasmine but Aria just lay there groaning and complaining about her foot.

We lifted her again and made our way up the street to the shop. All the way she was moaning about her foot hurting her. We got her into the shop and somehow managed to get her up the two flights of stairs and into bed. Me and Anna decided to stay with her in the flat that night because who knows what she would have done if we had left her.

I texted my mum to let her know what was happening and lay on a mattress on the floor next to where Aria’s bed was; Anna on the sofa. I looked at the time on my phone; half past one. What a night! Or rather what a day. Although I’d really enjoyed myself and had a laugh with my mates today had brought a lot of unhappiness as well.

I couldn’t get that image of Liam with Cassie out of my head. It pained me so much to think about it but it was impossible not. It had scared my heart and thinking about it, trying to make sense of it all seemed the only way to heal it.  And what was it that happened between me and Jake it was all so confusing. He couldn’t actually like me could he? No, who am I kidding! He was like that with everyone...wasn’t he?

My head buzzed, I shut my eyes. It felt so good to do so. I opened them again, staring at the ceiling. Anna was already sleeping and I could vaguely hear Aria mumbling to herself. It seemed so far away yet she was right next to me. How she was going to work tomorrow in the shop was beyond me. I closed my eyes again deciding that we would worry about that in the morning.