Short Stories And Such

Admit

It all started back in elementary school; the days of handball and cooties, the carefree feeling of being a kid. That's when I met you. We became friends and I admit I saw you as an easy person to trust. You were sweet and kind but also stubborn and sarcastic as our friendship grew.
The years fell away like a soggy piece of paper and when I moved schools, I admit I found us drifting apart. Although I've never told you this, I admit that not a day went by that I didn't think of you. Even now, I still think of you. I made new friends but they'd never compare. I wanted you. I needed you.
I admit that by the time I started junior high I'd forgotten you. That is, until I heard your name announced to be in my class. I was ecstatic to be reunited with my childhood friend but I admit that life didn't go as expected.
At first we kept our distance as though strangers. After I realized I couldn't go on without you, I made a move to become your friend again. Even at such a young age, I knew the task would require courage, patience, and love but it was worth the effort.
I hadn't made any progress until the following year when you questioned why we spent so little time together. You convinced me to eat lunch with you and welcomed me back into your life as though I hadn't left. I admit that to this day it feels as though I never did. After that, we grew close again like we had been all those years ago. We told each other anything and everything, ranging from what we had for breakfast to who we were secretly crushing on. I admit that I was surprised when you told me you were bisexual and even more shocked when you asked if I accepted it. I told you that you that were my best friend and it didn't matter what your sexuality was.
That's when it all started. The good mornings and the good nights; the subtle compliments; the non-stop texting. One afternoon we were simply chatting when the topic was brought up that we should pretend to be a couple, just for the fun of it. I admit that it seemed like a cute idea and I agreed to it. And I remember when you played the "what if" card and said maybe you didn't want to pretend, maybe you wanted it to be real. I just smiled and brushed it off. Only now do I realize my mistake.
I remember when you told me you were moving out of the state at the beginning of summer. I remember how devastated I was. I remember crying for hours on end. You promised we would talk and text and you could even visit but I admit that deep down I knew that a break in our friendship was inevitable. The thought made me sick to my stomach.
I was at your side every possible chance I had, wishing the school year would never end. I admit that no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about you, your eyes, your smile, you. At first I paid no mind to it, labeling it as premature gloom but as time went on, I knew it was something more.
Was I scared to admit my feelings to you? No, not at all. Do you remember that late-night text when I told you I wanted to talk the following morning? This was it. This was what I wanted to share but I decided to simply let it happen when the time was right. I may not have been scared to tell you, but you know what I was afraid of?
Admitting it to myself.
Admitting I'm in love with you.