Short Stories And Such

Suicidal Thoughts

It hurts that no one knows,
Just how sad I feel,
This emptiness inside of me,
It's become a great big deal.

My friends, they have no clue,
They think that I am great,
But if I'm being honest here,
I am filled with hate.

It's not directed towards them,
But rather at, well, me,
I love all of my perfect friends,
It's me I loathe, you see.

They're so oblivious to it,
Which makes me ache much more,
And they don't know how much I cry,
Behind my bedroom door.

A smile plastered on my face,
I cover all the spots,
That'd show them how I really feel,
My suicidal thoughts.

My music taste has gone downhill,
This, I think they know,
I listen to the saddest songs,
And feel depression grow.

It urges me to harm myself,
I fight it off with pride,
Sometimes, though, I think of it,
What if I had died?

Would my best friends notice?
My family, would they care?
I thought about it for some time,
Would I even dare?

The thought, well, it did scare me,
And I knew it wasn't right,
So instead I suffered through the pain,
Cried through every night.

After hiding for so long,
I finally let it be,
I would stop denying it,
Let the truth come free.

I walked into my bathroom,
Tears streaming down my face,
Only one thought on my mind,
"Is this the time and place?"

Knowing this was my last chance,
I grabbed a single pill,
Downed it with one gulp of water,
By now, I knew the drill.

I found some paper and a pen,
The pills, I'd take them all,
Wondered what my friends would think,
When I didn't call.

I was sobbing now,
My body shook with fear,
The sadness, it would end,
I would leave it here.

Writing my last words,
It suddenly dawned on me,
All that pain for nothing?
I'd give up that easy?

Suffering through the worst of times,
I always had pulled through,
I'd survive another day,
And that's when I met you.

You told me I was special,
You told me that you cared,
I let myself be vulnerable,
Though I was quite scared.

You didn't know of my attempt,
No one did, in truth,
And so I write this poem,
The stories of my youth.

I never told you how it was,
No mention of the past,
Because I was in love with you,
And wanted it to last.

But now, as I look back on it,
I know that I was wrong,
I should have told you how I felt,
You could have made me strong.

Eventually it came back to me,
Depression's everywhere,
I got the rope, sat in my room,
And for some time stayed there.

I wasn't very brave this time,
No, that was long gone,
I know you love me deeply,
But, hun, I don't belong.

Born in the wrong time,
And born in the wrong place,
But years from now, in heaven,
I hope to see your face.

I know you think I'm gone,
But, love, I'm in your heart,
Just go on with your precious life,
And make a fresh, new start.