The dingy small room was still the same,adamantly refusing to change. The wallpaper peeling off and the musty smell permeating the air,the worn out sheet covering the pathetic bed. In the corner stood a cupboard with one of its doors stubbornly refusing to shut,giving it a broken look. The room hadnt changed at all,Zarina smiled with a hint of nostalgia.
"Welcome home",she murmured as she gazed out of the dusty window. Below, the road was packed with people hurrying to get out of the intense rays which seemed to be attacking them from all sides. Trailing her finger across the windowsill,she idly thought of her childhood days.
"Well,you are glad you came back, right?"an anxious voice spoke out.
Zarina turned her smiled towards her mother,who was a wrinkled old women,moving around with the strength of a young person. She kept her hands busy doing some trivial work unable to keep herself still.
"I am glad,mother. I have been away for too long and had to see this house before..." here she stopped uncertain of what to say as a certain memory flashed past her mind.
Her mother looked enquiringly at her daughter,"Before you settle down I suppose."she completed it for her by using her own norms.
The daughter smiled weakly,"So,you have been making plans for me?",her tone was mildly accusing.
Her mother shook her head,"Your father has been,he is seeing to it so that you remain happy. You will have to give us your answer,Zarina. You know we have waited for too long."
Zarina sighed,"Mother,first I have to see those people. And then only I can decide. Why doesnt father take my opinion too?"
"Really now,this is your own choice. We will give you to them who can make you happy."
"I am happy being here,I dont want to get married so soon."she murmured, memories of last year flooding her mind.
Sitting on the rusty bench, lulled to sleep by the mellifluous voice of the birds,the book she was reading fell from her lap onto the slightly wet grass. Before she could reach for it,someone had already taken it for her. The helper handed her the book with a smile.
"I know what its like to fall asleep here."the girl sat beside her. Her smooth long hair fell above her waist and she daintly put her hair behind her ear.
"Its just so beautiful."zarina said
The girl nodded her head. Her calmness and composed smile made Zarina feel a bit immature. The conversation initiated by the girl was one of the first they ever had.
"Zarina?"
"Yes mother?" She started apparently lost in her own memories.
"Listen,your father wants your answer by this month. Zarina,just think about your father, what will people say if you refuse. Your father has set his heart on this. Please dont disappoint your father. He has to keep his head high in front of his neighbours too."her mother began to frantically explain this.
Zarina geustured for her mother to calm down. She was all too familiar with her mother's explanation. They wanted her to be happy but at the same time they didnt want to carry the shame of having an unmarried daughter. Her father was particularly insistent about that.
Another memory flitted by her mind.
"You know.." Zarina looked up to her friend gesturing that she was paying attention.
"Sometimes life is too hard",the girl paused staring absentmindedly at the clear lake,"People want you to do one thing and you want to do the other,a thing which will not be accepted,their rulebook dont permit our choices. Society just gets in the way of freedom,making us believe that we have the freedom to choose,all the while making plans for our lives. They make us live in an illusion and few can break through it,for it gets painful when you break glass. The shards cut you and wound you and restricts your movements making it impossible for you to live. The barrier still exists in your heart."
She never forgot the speech,the look of sadness and beauty on her face. With a bitter smile,they became friends.
She looked at her worn out mother having come back from her bitter sweet memories. Outside the sun shone its rays illuminating the whole sky,the birds flew in that great expanse,no obstacles barring them from their home. She shook her head to break the trance.
"Mother,give me some time. I will tell you my answer after I had made my decision."she smiles a subtle hint of sacarsm.
"Decisions."she thinks laughingly.
Her mother nods and exits the room. Zarina looks sympathetically at her mother's retreating back. Her mother won't rest until she concludes her quest for answers,Zarina knows that all too well.
Her mother will come back again and again till Zarina gives up. The threat of her father also looms up over the horizon.
Zarina once again looked out the window. She was happy coming back,really happy,but she was also fond of her past memories. She wanted to cling onto her friends and parents. She was once again reminded of the girl who became her friend on that enchanted night.
"It is time to make a decesion. You can't have freedom and marriage. Time to choose one." She thinks thoughtfully as her mind keeps reminding her many seemingly happy memories. She had to choose one and neither of the path were pleasant.
A little bird sat on her windowsill and as though sensing her indecision began to sing to her. Hearing its melodious voice she was again reminded of the night. The voice with its sweet lilt soothed her worries and gave her the strength required to make a decesion. She smiled peacefully,her pain was eased a little. She knew whichever decesion she took,she was not alone.
"Time to face my reality",she murmured and looked toward the sky and then the door. With steady hands she opened the door.
