Why?

Why? Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

"Hey Liam?" I asked stretching out his name as I rolled around on the floor keeping my eyes shut.

"What?" He asked, irritation clear in his voice.

"So, you wanna make me brownies?" I asked opening one eye slightly, to peek at him.

"Only because of the, news, and the fact your period started today, sure." He said looking at me grinning like he just ate all the cookie out of the cookie jar.

I felt a blush creep up onto my cheeks, "H-How did you know I started my period?" I asked trying to find my voice.

"Um, I was peeing, and when I stood up the toilet paper fell and knocked the trash can over and, out came your tam-stuff.." He mumbled looking away to walk towards the kitchen.

"Shit, sorry." I muttered. 

"Don't be" he snickered "its not your fault" he said.

"Yeah I know." I muttered.

"Oh, you should toss some rasberries and nuts into the brownies because you love me so much" I said siting up to wink at him. I felt my muscles ripple as I sat up. 

"When does mom or dad get home?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning, both of them, I'm pretty sure." He answered mixing together the ingrediants. I smelt the sweet smell of the brownie goop. 

"I'm gonna shower." I stated getting up.

"Oh, uh, Carter?" He asked shifting his weight to the other side.

"Yeah?" I asked turning to face him.

"Did you uh, make your decision?" He asked. His eyes looking into mine, my heart ached seeing the concern in his eyes.

"I did.." I said looking into his eyes with sorrow. 

"Oh.." He answered getting back to pooring the goop into the container. I guess he got my answer from my face.

"I'll be out in a second." I said turning and walking away, feeling my well up with tears. 

I rushed into the bathroom and felt the tears rush down my cheeks, a salty taste developed in my mouth as some of my tears seeped into my mouth.

I turned the water on and peeled my shorts off. I stepped into the shower and felt the steaming hot water singe my skin. It was too hot and burning my skin but it felt relieving. 

I deserve this.

All my decisions ever do is hurt people.

I tilted my head back and ran my heads through my hair making sure it all got wet.

I shut my eyes tight as the water hit an old scar on my upper arm by my shoulder.

I took a sharp intake of breath through my teeth.  

I had made that cut May 21st, when I was thirteen. The day-the day that Kade had broken up with me.

And once again when I found out my cousin, basically my brother, had, committed suicide.

"I miss you Tyler." I mumbled putting my face into my hands. 

rubbed the shampoo into my hair and rinsed it out and grabbed my condioner. I rubbed it all through my hair and just let the water run down my back.

I have to go. 

This is once in a lifetime and everyone will be back when I come back.

If I come back...

I shook my head, and rinsed everything out. I got out and wrapped a towel around myself and went back to my room.

I slipped on some sweats from Texas and a old tank top and walked outside.

I walked into the kitchen and made myself some peppermint and chocolate tea. I poored it in my old cup with Sheila and me on it and went to sit outside I sipped my tea and looked out to the meadow.

I felt someone sigh and glanced over to see Liam setting a brownie down in front of me and taking a seat across from me. 

"So, you're going to them up on their offer?" He asked taking a bite out of his  brownie.

"Yeah, I can't refuse this its such a big offer, it may never come up again, and this could help get my carrier started." I explained placing my cup down.

"I know but, Kade, and us, you're really going to leave?" he asked his eyes barely brimming with tears.

"I know and it was hard but horses, its just, its what I need in my life, if I want to actually persue my dream, I'll have to take this offer." I said reached across to grab his hand.

"I know, I'm going to miss you though Cat." He said a tear trickling down his cheek.

"I'll miss you too Liam, trust me." I said offering him a small grin.

We sat in silence, looking around, lost in our own thoughts. 

I can't believe I might not be living here in the next few months.

A/N: awww.. Carter's gonna leave :( 

don't worry though, i won't be that mean ;p

next update: hum, Sunday or Tuesday :)

byeee for now :*