Sorry

Chapter one

"Tried to kill herself..."
"Family disowned her..."
"Parents are dead..."
"Lit the house on fire..."

I could feel the eyes burning a hole through my sweatshirt, and the hushed voices echoing. It was a sunny day, a day where no Spring jacket was needed and all the boys wore shorts. The weather did not match my mood. I knew they were talking about me. About my reappearance. The entire eleventh grade was buzzing about my arrival at Hadley Grove High School. I tried not to care.

I don't think it worked.

School was a bizarre feeling and place for me now. I felt as though it should have been comforting on my first day.

It wasn't.

It was almost like eating your favourite ice cream. I was so excited, hungry even, for the creaminess and sugary goodness. But once I shoved a bit in my mouth, I could only taste disgusting, freezer burned ice.

Cold and unpleasant.

I had put my shiny brown tresses into a bun that morning, and slipped on my soft, sand coloured Ugg boots. My favourite crimson lace sweater was clean and crisp, and my light skinny jeans still fit perfectly. I had felt wonderful that morning. Fresh, even. That feeling was long evaporated by now. My bun was falling out, my left eye was twitching and my face was probably as red as my shirt. I had let the devils of high school invade my soul.

Damnit.

I wasn't always this frazzled. I used to be a calm, collected student. Heather Morrison, the straightforward levelhead. But then I in love. And that's where everything fell apart.

His name was Aiden. We met in a grocery store. I bought lettuce from him. I babysat his brother, and he invited me to dinner. The eight months we had were perfect. Then things that should have never happened, did happen.

"Hey."

I was startled out of my daydream, and was met with the oncoming face of a senior boy. He was carrying a microscope. Much to my dismay, it tumbled and crashed to the tiled floor as my knee punctured his stomach. I could visibly see his physical pain as he doubled over and collapsed to the floor. It was like slow motion. Then time sped up again.

I heard snickers, and saw Angela Hoffman across the hall, laughing. I grit my teeth.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and offered a hand to the boy. He stood and gave me a sad smile.

"It's okay. I guess only the microscope suffered. I hope Mr. Ridata doesn't make me pay for it."

He sighed. I winced.

"I'm really sorry."

The boy shook his head. "It's alright. I'm Joshua."

"Heather."

Joshua tilted his head, light reflecting off his glasses.

"I've seen you before... on television? Weren't you on the news?"

I winced again.

"Um yeah. Probably. I've been on a couple of times."

I waited for the stereotypical reaction, the laughing, the pointing and occasionally, the mocking. But it didn't happen, instead he gave me a sad smile.

"For what it's worth, welcome back to Hadley Grove."

Before I could reply, Joshua slipped into the mass of students, leaving me alone with useless, cracked equipment

***
That night, I picked at my meatloaf, not really eating it. As I pushed my string beans around, my aunt looked up at me.