Sorry

Epilouge

"A daughter, a friend and a sister, she will be missed."

Aiden tuned out of the pastor's speech, not interested in what he had to say. He couldn't believe it. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that had been eating at him like a sickness.

She was dead.

And he was probably the one that drove her to death.

"Aiden, pay attention," was his mother's quiet whisper. Aiden nodded listlessly, but barely heard the reprimand. Her face was flashing through his head. Getting coffee with her, cuddling with her, kissing her. He missed her as one would miss their own right hand.

God he loved her.

Please baby, forgive me.

Aiden thought about when things went sour, when he hurt her. He remembered hating her, scaring her.

He winced as he remembered his sister bounding into his room, late at night and asking about her. Asking why she had done what she had done.

The fire had left her scarred, physically and mentally. When he saw her at school, the ugly white, brown and pink scars on her wrist had drawn his attention. Her skin had melted.

It was sickening.

Not her, but what he had driven her to.

I love you. I still do.

"If Madeline Johnson will come forward now, she would like to say a few words."

My head snapped towards the podium, where a girl with mousy brown hair and fair skin stood.

Madeline Johnson, her best friend. His eyes narrowed. Why hadn't she seen what his baby was going through? Why hadn't she stopped it?

"Well first, thanks for coming. I know I'm not like family or anything, but we felt like sisters," Madeline started. "She was my best friend. I remember when I first met her, she was sitting in the common room, this scowl on her face. She turned and said to me 'I don't like you. Go away.'" Madeline laughed softly, tears pooling in the creases of her face.

Sounds like my girl.

"She was such an amazing girl, she should have done incredible things. I blame one person for what happened, one person who started it all."

Me

"But that doesn't matter anymore. She always told me she find her peace in death, and I hope she has peace now. I thank you." Madeline paused and looked down at the gorgeous wooden casket that would house Aiden's love forever. She choked, tears slipping down her red cheeks fast. "I thank you for being my friend, my sister."

Aiden watched as Madeline's speech rambled on, as she reminiscenced all the times they had shared.

We shared something more.

Aiden knew Madeline blamed him and him solely for what happened to his girl. He blamed the drugs.

As the funeral ended he stood in line to visit the coffin one last time. Finally, it was his turn.

He stood before the shiny black box, half open with a bouquet of wrapped lilies on the bottom half. Inside, she looked as if she was asleep. He knew better.

Her eyes were closed, which disappointed and relieved Aiden. He loved her eyes, big, icy blue. Everyone loved them. He wanted to see them, but he knew they would never be quite as amazing now that she was gone. The light in them would have gone out.

She was wearing a pale green dress, the sleeves covering the old, ugly scar on her wrist. Her curly brown hair was brushed and fanned out under her shoulders. He hardly recognized her.

I will always love you.

He leaned down, tangled his fingers in her hair and placed a note in her hands before looking at her face one last time and walking away. But not before a single salty tear made it past his once stoic eyes. Aiden, the tough one, the one that never cried, silently wallowed in the shame of what he had done to his beloved.

Heather, Heather, forgive me. I'm sorry.

****
A/N

How's that for a less than perfect love story? This is the very end of Heather's journey, and I hope you all liked it. Thanks for sticking with my depressing story till the end. If you have read up to this point, well, consider yourself as one of my reasons to push a little harder during the day, cry a little less at night and smile a little more during life. Thanks and much love to you all.

-Gwendolyn