Backwards: The superpowers nobody wants #Wattys2016

Chapter 29

Chapter 26- Monkey business (Sasha)

Everything was going brilliantly until I spotted a lion trying to get into a Taxi. I had the whole interview planned out and was feeling pretty confident until that moment. A couple were screaming inside and I sighed to myself.

"And I thought I was going to have a day off from stressful acts of heroism," I thought a little dejectedly.

I assessed the situation and decided it was probably best to tie the animal up before it caused any harm the poor thing was probably scared out of its wits with all the noise of the city and its unfamiliar surroundings.

I flew a little higher and found a washing line in a nearby garden. "That was convenient!"

I swooped down and lassoed the agitated beast who trieed to shake himself free but I made sure he wasn't going anywhere with a little telekinesis. Once subdued I formed a makeshift muzzle that looped over his snout and tied around his neck in a way that if he tried to pull himself free it would only tighten and rub at his snout.

"Thank you Refratx," the man in the car said gratefully.

"No problem sir I don't suppose you two know where this little kitty came from?"

They frowned in confusion, "I'm new to the city," I added.

"Oh the Zoo it's a couple of streets away I heard on the radio some people let the animals out," the woman said nervously.

"Thank you now you get home safe," I told them and they nodded with warm smiles.

Great this task just got a whole lot harder. I flew up carrying the lion with me who was thoroughly annoyed but seemed resigned to its fate. "Come on now Mufasa let's get you back to your family," I chuckled.

But I soon learnt that his family would not be waiting for him when I returned him to his enclosure because when I arrived the pride was pacing at the entrance to the Park. "God I wish Charlie was here he could just tell them to go back to their cage," I muttered but I tied the male up to the railings.

"Look could you just tell them to go back I mean your experience outside wasn't exactly fun was it," I asked. He just growled in frustration either ignoring me or not understanding.

Scared people were huddled together inside the lions blocking their way. I didn't have another washing line and I wasn't sure I had the concentration to lift 7 adult females, 2 juvenile males and 4 cubs over to their respective homes so I needed another plan. I raced my brains and decided it was time to use some of that mind boggling knowledge I generally kept in the back of my mind where it wouldn't bother me. I tried just searching it but strange things like 42 just popped up so I realised I needed a real question.

"How do I subdue a lion," I thought desperately and it worked.

I had to make them believe I was their leader and with a few cross-references I had all the information I needed I grabbed a couple of things from the surrounding area and got to work.

I looked the lions in the eyes and raised myself up puffing out my chest then I roared like a real carnivore. They looked at each other and a cub mewed but the females didn't trust me. I pulled out a piece of meat I had found in a nearby shed and gave it to the cub who chewed it happily. The females relaxed and I pointed at a nearby empty pen with a large picture of a lion on it and they trudged in along with their leader who looked very sorry for himself.

One down God only knows how many to go. I scoured the surroundings and captured 2 tigers, 5 penguins, 10 wolves, 3 zebras and a koala but that was only the easy part.

There was one more empty pen and these escapees had gotten a lot further in their rampage. It took me a further twenty minutes of searching before I located them and they were causing quite a scene

Ever heard the phrase bull in a china shop? Well from now on I will be using Baboon in a Tesco because the chaos before me was second to none.

There were monkeys everywhere jumping on shelves, riding the escalators, trashing the isles, playing with children's toys and sinking their huge teeth into most of the food in the store especially the sweets. This was going to be like corralling an army of hyperactive 5 year olds with the added bonus that said 5 year olds had canines as large as a lions.

I grabbed a whistle and blew it hard, the baboons stopped what they were doing but I knew I wouldn't have their attention for long. I roared the lions roar and they chattered nervously backing away from me. I took a bunch of dog colours and leads and proceeded with great effort and a little help from a few bystanders to leash up the total 20 apes.

I led them back with a little help and after brushing off applause I took off in search of Markus who had given me a very concerning radio call.