The Pure Blood's Task

Chapter 11

I awaken on the morning of our Hogsmeade trip feeling anxious about what I need to do today. I decided last night that I'll tell them before we leave, so if Ron reacts badly I can stay behind, and Hermione can sweeten him up with Butterbeer and Honeyduke's best chocolates. Then when he returns he might be more agreeable.

As I draw open the hangings around my bed, I see that my four other dorm mates are still sleeping. I shower and dress quickly, then pick up my copy of Advanced Potion Making and head down to the common room. I asked Ron and Hermione to meet me down here before everyone else gets up, so I won't be waiting too long, but I like paging through the book anyway to pass the time. I almost always find new spells scribbled in the margins, and this time is no exception.

'Levicorpus (n-vbl)' it reads. I flick my wand casually as I think it, and hear a cry of surprise from the stairwell. I look up at Ron's startled face - he's dangling as though hoisted up by an invisible hook around his ankle. I laugh at him as I rifle through the book for the counter-spell, which drops Ron onto the floor in a crumpled heap. Once he's the right way round he starts laughing too, and he takes the armchair next to mine in front of the fireplace. Okay, great, he's here. Now I just need Hermione...

"Morning Harry, Ron," she appears with perfect timing, hair damp, and sits down to face me. "So what do you want to talk about, Harry? It sounded serious."

This is it! I try to speak, but my mouth is too dry for words to form. I wipe my clammy palms on my jeans and shift nervously. Here goes nothing...

"Wait - let me just tell Hermione first! Guess what just happened!" Ron's voice babbles over mine, recounting how I suspended him in mid air.

Hermione's expression changes from mild disapproval to downright horror as she learns I found the spell in the book.

"Harry, you mustn't use it anymore. I'm serious, it's dangerous! Can't you think of someone else who uses a spell like that?"

My mind flashes back to the Quidditch World Cup and the family of muggles. "It doesn't matter, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." My head is pounding with the pressure to just tell them. "Ron, Hermione, I'm-"

"Harry, listen to me!" I don't get to finish. "This Prince character is dodgy   - Yes, I saw their signature - I've been doing some research, and there's nothing about any notable person with that as a surname or title. They must be using a new identity now, probably one less queer, so for all we know they could be a seriously Dark Witch or Wizard!"

Only one word sticks in my mind.

"When you say 'queer'...?" Ron asks, also noticing.

"You know what I mean, Ronald!"

"You sound like Narcissa Malfoy!" The words burst from my lips. "Does it really matter if they were-"

"Never mind! That's beside the point. Just don't use the book anymore." She concludes. "What do you want to tell us?"

"I... Well..." This is not the moment. If Hermione feels that way, Ron will be worse. I'll tell them later, maybe on the walk down to Hogsmeade. "I found another sleep in the book," I say instead. "Sectumsempra - for enemies. I thought I could try it on Malfoy."

Ron gaffaws, drowning our Hermione's protests, but I don't feel relieved. I need to tell them today.

      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

The walk down to Hogsmeade is uncomfortable and disappointing. I keep trying to tell them, but every time I think I've plucked up the courage and chicken out again. I can't say it, but I need to. I feel like I'll explode of I don't, maybe blurt it out accidentally when there's someone else around, but I can't, and all too soon we reach the village and it's too late, too crowded, and I feel suffocated.