tainted.

Funeral

Everything was black and dark. The quiet silence in the church, the little sobs from friends and family echoed from the walls. Everyone tried to be positive, you can see everyone's fake smiles during conversations. They tried to make Sage smile, but she couldn't, she was broken. The horror of her dad dying right in front of her eyes, it wasn't something you can just forget and move on with your life.

"He's in a better place now Sage, it's going to be ok," Meredith kneels down slowly to her level and hugs her tightly, she doesn't hug back. She frowns, keeping a straight face, she doesn't pay attention anymore.

"Sage, remember, you're going to say a speech, are you going to be alright?," Meredith looks into her eyes waiting for a response. Sage snaps back into reality, turning her head towards her mom, she nods. Her face still hasn't changed, still no expression. She stands still in her long black silky dress, moving in the wind. She starts to walk outside of the back of the church where everyone was. She finds her mom standing by his dead, lifeless body, about to say her speech.

Meredith clears her throat, everyone's eyes look towards her, then it's silent.

"Uh-uhm. I know how hard it's been for everyone. Phillip was a-a great husband, father, friend, he's effected everyone's life, in a good, positive way. H-he has helped me more than anyone. I remember the first time we set eyes on each other" she chuckles reliving the moment, "it was uhm- in the park when you stepped in dog shit and you screamed yelling to get it off, ha-uhm-why am I saying you, it's like I'm talking directly to you, uhm. We've known each other since we were 15, and we've come all this way. I never-," Meredith stops and takes a deep breath. "I never thought that- it would come to an end like this. Phillip I miss you, Sage misses you, too, we all do. I don't know what I can do without you. You know I wouldn't be standing here, alive, if it wasn't for you." She looks up to the crowd of friends and family, "I almost committed suicide. 15 years old, Phillip was there not only to stop me, but to make me better. He finally gave me a reason to live my life, he showed me things I've never seen before. I never knew that it was possible to ever be happy again since- since the incident." Flashbacks and memories of her and Phillip start flooding back into her head causing her to loose it. "I miss the small dates we had when we were younger, I miss walking around in town in the rain, I miss talking to you, hugging you, cuddling with you, raising Sage with you. Even though it's only been 4 days without you I-I can't go on with the rest of the day remembering that you died right in front of me and Sage. I remember standing on the roof of the school building, almost ending my life, I still remember the words you told me, Meredith, you can make it, all this pain and shit you're going through will go away if you just take my hand. What would've happen if I didn't take your hand? I would've been in the place you are now. Phillip, if you're listening, I want you to know I will be ok soon, Sage is fine as well, I hope you're doing well where ever you are, I love you."

Sage shakes her head, she wasn't doing well at all, and she never will be. Her life just shattered, she missed her dad. Meredith looks at Sage and nods telling Sage that's it's her turn to speak. She wasn't prepared.

Sage slowly walks up and looks at her dad, she touches the glass covering him and she cracks a small, tiny smile. She looks over at everyone, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in and out and opens her eyes, she was ready. She spoke like she was having a regular conversation, just her and her dad.

"Hi dad, how are you... I'm actually not doing well. Mommy said this one million times but I'll say it again, I miss you." Sage looks down at her paper in her hand looking through the list she made of all her favorite memories of her and her dad. "I made a list of the fun memories we had together. I remember when we had a cake fight in my 7th birthday, I remember when we got in trouble sneaking into the zoo at night, I remember when we when ice skating and you always fell of your butt, and I remember when you came to pick me up after I fell off the playground," it was only 4 days ago. "How is it like in heaven or wherever you are? Is there free food? Did you make friends? Are you a ghost and you're listening to what I'm saying right now? What's on your mind right now? What are you doing now that you're a ghost? Wanna know what's on my mind? I wanna know why fate didn't let you finish your last sentence - I love you, too Sage. Everyday I wonder, and I know you couldn't say it because you got hit by a car, but it hurts. Your last words, almost saying my name, did I say I love you too late that you couldn't say it back in time? Should I have never fallen off that playground so we wouldn't have been at the doctors in the first place? Now that I think about it, your death... It's all my fault, it's all my fault." Sage's eyes widens, she isn't reading off of her paper anymore, the crowd looks worried but they let her continue. "It's all my fault- if- if I never climbed up the ladder to the top of the playground, I would've never fell, I wouldn't be here saying this speech, I wouldn't be here in this black dress, I wouldn't be standing right in front of your dead body right now, if I never fell down!," at this point, Sage was screaming.

Meredith stood up and walked towards to get Sage, she motioned Sage into the church making her calm down and relax. After a few minutes of silence, Sage finally speaks up.

"Mommy.." Sage whimpers.

"Yes Sage?," She looks into Sage's watery eyes.

"It's all my fault."

((uhm, wHoops, sorry for the emotional chapter, message me your feedback so i can improve this story, have a gr8 day, bYe))