Connected Cords

Chapter Fourteen

The days went in a blur. Couple of days passed and I did not see even the shadow of my in-laws, Greg's parents. And every single day, Creed was always there. He never left except the times that he needed to change or I ordered him to rest. Sapilitan pa iyon dahil ayaw niya talaga akong iwanan.

Greg attempted to talk to me a couple of times but he did not get even a single word from me. I barely talk actually. Kinakausap ko lang si Monica, si Kenneth at si Creed. I will talk to some of the people who was there, pero masyado akong matipid sa salita.
And the day that I didn't want to come, came. It was the day of my daughter's burial. I despise the date. I fucking hate the way how people looked at me while we were walking towards the cemetery. They looked at me like they were apalled that I wasn't shedding even a single tear. Little did they know that I was swallowing every fucking second just to removed the invisible lump in my throat and how many times I was chanting inside my head not to cry.

Everyone of them got thils scrutinizing look in their eyes while they were looking at Creed who was on my side and Greg that was behind me with his parents. Ramdam ko mula sa aking likod ang matalim na tingin ng ina ni Greg sa akin pero tinatatro ko na lamang silang parang hangin. Naririnig ko rin ang pag-iyak nito at ang pag-aalo sa kanya ng kanyang asawa.

After we arrived at the cemetery, a mass was held there. Nakapwesto na ang kabaong ni Maddie sa kung saan siya ililibing. That thought made my broken heart, broke even more even if I didn't know it was still possible.

Ang mga ibang kamag-anak ni Greg, mga magulang niya, at siya ay naghulog na ng puting rosas habang unti unti bumaba ang kabaong ni Maddie.

I was gritting my teeth and biting my tongue the whole time. Ang hirap pagmasdan na inililibing ang sarili mong anak. I was the last one who will throw the white rose. I bid my farewell to my daughter as I stared at her coffin slowly dipping in her tomb, I bid my goodbye but promised her that she will be forever in my heart.

Tunalikod ako at bumalik sa tabi ni Creed. I cannot look at him nor to anyone. Unti-unting nabubuhay ang galit at poot sa puso ko dahil sa pagkawala ng nag-iisang tao na tanging dahilan ng pagpapakatatag ko sa mundong ito. They took away my happiness. They took away my heart.

The people slowly diminished and before they totally go, they bid their goodbye and sympathy to us. The only thing that I did was to nod as an acknowledgement. Nakita ko ding umalis ang mga mga magulang ni Greg at inihatid niya ito sa kanilang sasakyan. Hindi rin nagtagal ay naubos na ang mga tao.

Hindi ako umalis doon hanggang sa mailagay na ang lapida sa kung saan nakalibing si Maddie. I stayed there for a while, just staring at the beautiful name of my daughter that was engraved on her tombstone. Tumitig ako roon upang kahit papaano ay makahugot ako ng kahit kaunting lakas para harapin pa ang mga susunod na mga araw na wala siya. I know that she was just right there, guiding me and pushing me to go on with life.

Naramdaman ko ang mainit na haplos ni Creed sa aking likod at hinagod iyon. His scent attacked my nose as he moved beside me.

"Tell me if you want to go," He softly said and I was a little shocked when he placed a chaste kiss on my temple. His simple gesture warms my heart. I was glad that he never left my side, no matter how cold or harsh I was to him, nandyan lamang siya.

"Are you hungry?" He asked again, his hand was still placed at the small of my back.

I shook my head as my answer.

"Where do want to go after this?" He asked again. Ganyan lang siya parati. He will just keep on asking you things. That's how I proved how caring Creed was.

"House," I mumbled. I couldn't even say home because it doesn't felt like it anymore.

"Okay then," He answered and that was the time that I dared to look at him directly in the eyes. I noticed the gray circles around it but it did not cover it's natural beauty. I could not see anything but fondness in his golden brown eyes. He was looking softly at me with a sweet and genuine smile plastered on her gorgeous face.