What have I done? He's laying there in that hospital bed because of me. I really fucked up! I really.... Really fucked up now!
Angel.. My Angel is in a hospital bed! A FUCKING HOSPITAL BED. AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT! How could I have been so stupid?
I sat next to Angel on the bed, grabbed his hand, and let my eyes trace his still body. My eyes that have been continuously crying since I seem him in the bathtub, are crying even more now that I see the bandages wrapped over his arms and the small one on his neck.
He was going to cut his own throat... He was trying to kill himself because of me. He really did love me and I really hurt him. Ugh! I'm so fucking stupid.
The one person that loved me truly. the one that trusted me with their heart. The one that trusted me with everything. I let him down.
"I'm so sorry," I said to Angel. The tears still pouring from my eyes. I just laid my head on his chest and let them fall. I closed my eyes and just curled as much as possible next to him. I wanted to lay next to him and be by his side every single moment for the rest of my life.
"GET OFF OF HIM YOU PIECE OF -"
"Calm down Drake... Please, it's ok."
I jumped up to find Drake pushing his way around Nevaeh. I could tell he was furious. The look in his eyes were just ready to kill. I don't blame him. I'd want to kill me too.
"NO! IT'S NOT FINE LAUREN! MY LITTLE BROTHER IS SITTING HERE IN THIS DAMN HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF THIS MOTHERFUCKER AND I WANT ANSWERS RIGHT NOW! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
Okay now I know he's mad. He only calls Nevaeh and Angel by their middle names when he is mad.
Drake finally got around Nevaeh and before I even had a chance to react I was being held up off of the bed by the collar of my shirt. I braced myself for the impact of punches and kicks from him but nothing. Just a bunch of obscenities and death threats. I couldn't even defend myself. Every word he said I deserved it. I deserved it all.
"ANSWER ME FUCKFACE," he shouted, saliva spewing from his mouth all over me.
"I'm s...s.....sorry," I stammered, letting my head fall and unable to look him in the eyes.
"You mean to tell me that I flew 10 hours to get here for my brother and all you have to say is I'm sorry?"
I didn't answer him. I just kept my head down and let the tears fall. I couldn't say anything else.
"Look at me boy," Drake said shaking my shoulders.
I slowly put up my now heavy head and tried my best to look into his eyes. The tears were making me fail.
"Why would you do this Brock," he asked finally letting go of me. His voice a lot more calm, but still fierce. "The day I left here I told you to take care of Angel. You gave me your word that you would never hurt him and you would watch him."
"I know.. I know," I said. "I'm so sorry."
"You're sorry," he spat. "You're sorry?... You know what you... You lied to me Brock. You lied to me and I'm in the right mind right now to beat the shit out of you, but I'm not. Because Esme and Angel would have told me not to and to just leave you alone, so I'm going to do that. I'm going to let you walk away with your body still intact."
I couldn't say anything still. I just felt that rush of relief over me that he wasn't going to kill me.
"Brock I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear you. I don't even want to hear your name. I want you gone."
"What... No," I cried.
He can't keep me away from Angel... No one was going to keep me away from him.
"I knew you were going to say that. That's why I already had my mom get him a passport. Angel is coming to stay with me now. Far away so you won't be able to hurt him anymore."
"NO!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "You can't take him! Please! You just can't. I made a mistake... I know, but I want to fix it. Just please don't take him."
"I just lost my baby sister Brock, and not even a whole month has passed and I'm on the verge of loosing my baby brother as well. I will not stand by and let this happen. He would be way safer and better with me."
"But-"
"But nothing," Drake said, cutting me off. "Angel is coming home with me. I have a nice little 2 bedroom apartment in a very nice neighborhood with some great schools. He is coming with me. It's over and done."
And with that he left the room, slamming the door after him. Nevaeh followed suite. I just stood there staring at the door. The whole scene replaying in my head.
He was right. Angel would be way better off without me. But i love him so freaking much, i don't want to let him go... I did make that promise to Drake to take care of him. And I did fail... Angel is in this hospital room because of me.
If only I hadn't of treated him that way. If only I would have fought myself to stay by his side. If only.... If only
YOU ARE READING
Where Do I Go (boyxboy)
Non-FictionAngel is gay. Most people don't see that as a problem. Except his dad, who is an anti-gay group leader and a gay basher. After telling the rest of his family about his sexuality they come up with a plan to tell their father. Whom they are sick of ca...
