Without Him

Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

*** Max's POV ***

"Sure, I'll tell her. Thank you" I said before hanging up.

I threw the phone to the other side of the couch and leaned forward, putting my arms on my knees and rubbing my face with my hands. Why hadn't she told me? was my first thought. Ella was pregnant again. Her doctor's secretary had just called to remind her of her appointment in a couple of weeks. Was she even planning on telling me? My mind was a whirlwind of questions I wanted answers to.

She must had found out about the pregnancy the day she went to get on birth control. I headed back to our room and even though, I didn't want to snoop, I searched for her purse. Ella had changed her purse to another one this morning and had been a tad sneaky about putting the old one away and hiding it in a corner of our walk-in closet. I'd pretended I was too lazy and still sleepy to care about what she was doing.

Ever since she came back from the doctor's appointment, she had been different. That night when I came home with Mia, I pretended I didn't notice how her eyes were slightly swollen and her pupils were dilated from crying. I thought it was probably due to stress from work or something else she didn't want to talk about at the moment since she had tried to hide her crying. But that night at her sister's dinner, how she suddenly got sick and went to the bathroom, how different she had been these last few days, proved that it wasn't stress from work, it was something bigger. She was pregnant. I planned confronting her about her behavior but I was giving her time, knowing sooner or later she would talk to me, however it had turned into a lost cause.

As I opened a pocket in her purse, I found a small squared paper with crumpled corners. I took it out and turned it around. A picture of the baby. It was only a puny, wee circle. I walked out of the closet and sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the picture. I didn't know for how long I stared at it but the only thing my eyes saw was the puny black circle in the grey and black image.

After the secretary's call, finding out Ella was pregnant again and now finding a picture of the baby, I didn't know if I was going to be capable of focusing at work. The only things I could think about was the new baby and that I had to talk to Ella as soon as possible. I kept the picture, collected my keys and headed to work. As much as I was doubting my focus today, people were expecting me at the offices of Wilde Productions.

*** Ella's POV ***

Work hadn't been so enjoyable or the best thing ever since I started morning sickness. It made it harder for me to concentrate on work when the feeling of sickness and dizziness was all that I could about it instead of the paperwork, calls and/or conferences that filled my schedule. I was gaining more control over it like I had done with my first pregnancy but this first trimester had been worse than the one I had with Mia.

I unscrewed the cap of my water bottle and took a gulp. Even though I knew couldn't have my daily dose of Starbucks coffee anymore, I still missed it dearly. I put the cap back on my water bottle and returned to work. I barely left my office after my morning sickness started. I wasn't very keen on sharing my pregnancy with my co-workers yet, especially Braden - who was here visiting his father often - after that little loving/caring stunt he pulled on me a few weeks ago.

Today was the day I was going to tell Max. I'd had enough of myself and the fear of rejection I felt every time I contemplated telling him. I'd had enough of it controlling me. I had said I trusted Max, I knew he wasn't the person he had been that night anymore yet the fear had me thinking differently of him. And I had no one to blame for it but myself. I had implanted that seed on my brain. Max had showed, proved to me that he did regret the way he acted and he wasn't that way anymore. I had to prove to myself that his love for me and Mia was stronger than fear that still lingered inside me. No matter what, I was forcing myself to speak to him and tell him that we were going to be parents again.