Without Him

Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

Max's distance had me in a sword-against-the-wall situation. I was in mixed feelings territory with him and I didn't know what to do. Our mothers have always been supportive of our relationship but this didn't feel like I situation I wanted to discuss with Grace even though it was about her son. However, my mother's and Grace's response would be biased. I felt like their help wouldn't be enough. I needed to ring Livie or Bliss. Both of them considered Ms. Know It Alls in my eyes.

I rang Livie first but her phone went to voicemail after a couple of rings. I hung up and called Bliss next. Her phone rang three times before she answered.

"Hey stranger," She chirped

"Hey," My voice wasn't as peppy as hers for more than obvious reasons.

"Oh no. What's wrong?" Bliss questioned in a worried voice.

I exhaled and proceeded to explain to her what has been going on with my relationship with Max.

Sometimes, I'd find myself getting jealous, envious of my sister's relationship. Of course, Reeve and her had a few bumps along the way but they got each other so well. Whenever they fought, they'd solve things out right then and there. If something was wrong, they would talk it out. In Max and I's case, it took us a few hours even a day. And instead of talking it out, we pushed each other further away. Which clearly wasn't a healthy thing to do. Not every relationship was the same, I was aware of that but I just wished we handled things the way Reeve and Bliss did.

Since I no longer bothered visiting Max while he was in his office, Bliss advised me to visit him and try to at least create a conversation. If it didn't work out then I should confront him in the bad way. Hopefully, he wouldn't speak to me the way he did the last time. Maybe he'd be more appreciative. I mean, I do miss the time he dedicated to us and I need it back, not only me but Mia also and maybe even the baby. Especially now.

***

I took a few breaths and exhaled as I lightly knocked on his office door. A faint "Come in" was spoken from the other side. I turned the knob and peeked in before entering. He turned around at the sound of the door opening. His features looked tired. His brown hair was all disheveled, the ends sticking to different directions. His hair was slightly longer than usual, needing a cut.

"Everything okay?" Max asked as he looked at me from over his shoulder.

I nodded before saying, "I made you dinner" and bringing the plate of food to his view.

He turned his chair around, facing me as he rubbed his face with his hands and asked for it.

I walked to him and handed him the plate. I stand by the edge of his desk as he murmured, "Thank you". I nodded in response. I knew Bliss had told me to try and converse but right now I just felt fleeing. I felt uncomfortable and insecure but I wanted to know what the deal was and what was going on.

"Max...." I started "I'm not going to force you but..." I exhaled to be able to continue, "What's going on?" My voice cracked as I forced the words out "You've been pushing me away and I just... I don't know. I really wish you didn't but... I miss the time you dedicated to me, us. I miss feeling you next to me during the night. I miss you. I've tried to give you time to open up. I really have but the more time I give you the more away you get for every passing second. I just want you to know, I'm doing this before it's too late. Before we lose each other because we are on that track and we might be close." His face looked panicked as I said those words. I was to the point where holding tears or biting my cheek to prevent them from falling was useless. "This time I'm begging you. Please. Please, tell me. What's going on?"