Bitten {Ouran Host Club}

Funeral

Tamaki's POV

There she was. Sprawled in the hospital bed, shivering like a lost, scared child. She, occasionally, would whimper in her sedated sleep as if remembering something awful.

But what isn't there to remember?

This poor girl is scarred. Both physically and mentally. Washing off her skin revealed healing bruises and scabbing cuts. But what concerned me most were the ones on her wrist.

They were deep. And in two straight lines. She'd been cutting. Whether this was her first time or that was her second time cutting, I don't know. I wish I did.

I had to drive Haruhi home, even though she wanted so badly just to stay with Lari.

After Haruhi called an ambulance and Alaria had fallen asleep to Kaoru's lullaby, the youngest Hitachiin wouldn't let one soul touch her. He was rocking back and forth with her in his arms, whispering things to her when she whimpered or cried.

At one point, she was screaming in her sleep, thrashing and kicking. It terrified everyone, but all Kaoru had to do was stroke her hair and sing that lullaby again.

I was sitting in a chair in Alaria's room. Kaoru was asleep, his head on the mattress. Hikaru was slowly falling asleep beside me. Hunni was asleep beside Mori, who had been standing in the shadows for hours. Kyoya was sitting on the opposite side of me, tapping his foot.

Alaria's heart monitor spiked when she sat up, sweating and crying. It woke up Kaoru, who immediately grabbed her hand. In shock, Lari jerked her hand away from Kaoru. But when she realized who it was, she pulled her knees to her chest and put her forehead on her knees and cried. Kaoru rubbed her back and whispered to her, probably singing that lullaby again.

She leaned into Kaoru and cried against his shirt. Kaoru began to cry silently, as to not bother Alaria, and I woke Hikaru since he's the only one who can comfort him. He rushed to his brother's side and rubbed his back, hugging him and telling him everything would be okay.

"Mr. Tamaki?" A nurse walked into the room to check on Alaria, who's heart monitor was still a bit spiked. I stood and walked outside with the nurse. "She can be released now. But you'll need someone next to her at all times just to watch her for a few weeks." She handed me a few brochures and papers. "Those are for different depression medications and this is for a depression group the hospital has." I thanked the nurse quietly and put the brochures in my pocket.

I walked back into the room and shut the door behind me. "You're being released, Alaria." She was sitting on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Hikaru walked Kaoru out of the room because he was so upset. Kyoya walked out to sign papers and get Alaria released. Mori carried Hunni out of the room.

Lari just sat there, rocking back and forth. She seemed to be focusing on the blankets. "Alaria?" She made no response and simply looked at the clothes on the side table. I nodded and left so she could change.

***

Alaria's POV

Pain. Depression. Weakness.

That's all I felt.

Tamaki left the room and I changed into my clothes. I walked out of the room and everyone standing outside my room stopped pacing.

My head was low. I was looking at the ground carefully as if the ground would give way under my depression. But it didn't. "Are you ready to go, Alaria?" It was Kyoya. I was curious as to where Haruhi was, but I honestly didn't care. "Um, you'll be staying with Hikaru and Kaoru for the week. And then you'll move to my house. And then to Tamaki's. Then Mori's. And lastly Haruhi's." It was Kyoya again.

I just nodded and let them lead me out of the hospital.

Something was missing. I didn't hear that little voice. I didn't feel even a one hundredth of a fraction of happiness. All I felt was the withering of my pained heart.

All that would play through my head was the letter I read. No matter how many times I imagined throwing t away and burning it, the words stuck with me;

"This is the only way I can guarantee to keep it."

I followed the twins to their limo and sat down in the leather seat. Neither of the twins said anything during the ride to their mansion, nor did I.

Their mansion was large, I'll admit. But I wasn't interested in it. Kaoru took my hand and took me on a quick, basic tour of the mansion before having the maids put away my things in a guest room.

I was sitting in my room in the window seat, staring out the window. It was beginning to snow. Had the circumstances not been what they were, I'd probably have gone outside and played in the white flakes.

But I just lost that drive.

There was a knock at my door and it opened, but I didn't turn. "Alaria, dinner's ready." Kaoru.

Poor Kaoru. What a bitch I am, not saying a word to the boy who's comforted me for two days straight.

But I don't reply. He sighs and closes the door behind him.

Why wasn't I hungry? Thirsty? Where was my voice? Where was my happiness? Where was the real Alaria? Did she die? Did Mom kill her, too, when she killed herself? Why doesn't just thinking about that hurt? Do I not feel anymore? I guess I don't. I don't feel loved. I don't feel gifted.

I am a mistake. I am an abomination. I should not live. I should have died in place of my father.

Oh well. What's done is done.

My door opened once more, yet I still didn't turn around. "Alaria?" Hikaru, this time. "Lari, you have to eat." I didn't reply. Even to my nickname. "I'll force feed you." His voice had a joking ring to it, so I could tell he was trying for at least a smile. I sighed and stood. 8.9 for effort.

Hikaru led me down the stairs to the dining room.

Kaoru was already sitting at the large table. I sat beside him and Hikaru sat on the opposite side of me. This table could hold about fifteen people, so why were there only three? And where were the Hitachiin parents?

The maids lay down platters of food. Salads, sushis, crabs, and glorious deserts. I fixed myself a small plate. Even though it was a fourth of what the boys were eating, I still had to force myself to eat any of it. Not that it was bad; I wasn't hungry at all.

I finished my dinner twenty minutes before the boys did. I suddenly felt sick and ran to the bathroom. I vomited in the toilet repeatedly until my stomach was empty.

Kaoru was beside me, rubbing my back. Hikaru handed me a wet rag and I put it on my forehead. I was crying. I couldn't tell if it was because my Mom or because I just vomited.

They sat with me until I was sure I wasn't going to vomit again. They let me brush my teeth and bathe before they did the same and I headed off to bed.

*+*

Everything was dark for a moment. And then an image broke through. Hair. Light hair, like my own. Tall and skinny, their back to me.

"Alaria!" They turned around and there stood my Mom.

She laughed and smiled. "M-Mom?" She hugged me and her scent washed over me. Lemongrass and fresh rain. "Yes, I'm here!" "Why did you--?" She tensed and released me. "I told you, in my letter."

I nodded and smiled at her. "Will I always see you?" She smiled sadly. "This is your dream. You can control whether or not this happens every night." She looked over her shoulder and smiled. "I've got to go now, Lari. Be strong for me!"

"What?" I started to cry. "No! Mom! Wait! Please, don't leave me!"

And she faded away.

*+*

Someone was pushing me, calling my name. I fought with them. Who the hell was that!?

"Alaria! It's me, Kaoru!"

Oh my God. I rolled over and my eyes snapped open. Before me was a tired, shirtless Kaoru. He sighed and released his grip on my shoulder. "Y-You were screaming." Tears were in his eyes. I sighed and took his hand. I pulled him to my side and let him lay his head on my chest. "Shh." I rubbed his back and stroked his hair, rocking back and forth in order to comfort him.

He began crying, his shoulders jumping. "I-I just want you to be okay." He admitted. I nodded and leaned my cheek on his head. "Shh." I repeated. I comforted him until he stopped crying and he hugged me. "Sleep, please. Or I'll have to sleep in the floor in here." He bargained. I nodded and he kissed my forehead, blushed, and left the room.

I touched the place where he kissed me with my fingers and closed my eyes. My Mom used to do that all the time. When she wasn't--

"Thanks." A shirtless Hikaru was standing in my doorway. "For comforting Kaoru." He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "He isn't getting much sleep, he's so worried about you." I nodded. He hugged me. "Just get better."

Look at the pain I'm causing them...

***

I sat up. I'd been staring at the ceiling for hours. I heard Kaoru and Hikaru shuffling in their room next door. I knew they were awake, at least.

Last night was tragic for me. I knew that today was my Mom's funeral. I'd heard Kyoya talking about it while I was sleeping in the hospital.

I grabbed a black dress from the closet and changed into it. It was a simple, sleek, strapless black dress. I pulled on some black flats and stumbled down the stairs.

The maids were just finishing setting up breakfast. "Good morning, Ms. Mae!" One maid with gorgeous blonde hair sang. I nodded and sat down. I was hesitant to eat, but I tried some bacon and toast. I sat there for a while and decided I was fine.

Kaoru shuffled down the steps in a black suit and tie. He noticed me and smiled. "Did you eat?" I nodded. He smiled. "Good." Hikaru followed him in the same suit. They ate quickly and we headed to the limo.

Would I be able to get through this funeral?

The limo stopped at a church. I got out and walked up the sidewalk, one twin on either side of me. Tamaki, Kyoya, Mori-Senpai, Hunni-Senpai, and Haruhi met us at the doors. "Are you okay?" Haruhi asked with a hug. I shrugged and looked at the ground. She nodded and sniffled.

I walked into the church, ignoring all my family members. It was her I wanted to see.

She was in a black coffin with red and white roses decorating the top. She looked like a wax statue. Her light hair was parted down the middle and laying on her shoulders. Her eyes were closed and her skin was a light color. She was wearing a grey dress with pearl bracelets and a pearl necklace. She didn't look at all like the working, alcoholic Cori Mae I knew.

Her hands were folded on her stomach and I touched one of her hands and began to cry. My knees buckled, but someone wrapped their arm around my waist. "I've got you, love."

I looked up to see Jace. He was related to me? I looked at my rich Lorane and Ren, close family friends. They smiled sadly at me. He shrugged. "Adopted." Yeah. I could tell. He looked nothing like them.

We turned to my mother. Tamaki suddenly rushed to my side, glaring at Jace. "Who is he, Lari?" He spat. Jace glared right back at Tamaki. "Family friend." He did a once-over on Tamaki and growled, "I don't like him."

Tamaki smirked. "Is that right? Feelings are mutual, pal." They got in each other's face and I cowered next to the coffin. "Boys!"

Kyoya clapped and got both Tamaki's and Jace's attention. Tamaki took a step back, still glaring at Jace. "I'm Kyoya." He held out a hand to him, but he just glared at him and walked away. Kyoya dropped his hand and scoffed. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

The service started, but I had to leave. I couldn't listen to their speeches. I was pacing outside the church, crying softly. Every time a sound came nearby, I jumped out of my skin. I kept biting at my skin; a stressed habit.

Suddenly, the doors opened and the Hosts walked down the stairs. I guess eight of us leaving the service was much worse than one.

I couldn't believe I chickened out of a funeral like that.

"That was disrespectful," Kyoya scorned. More tears welled in my eyes and I nodded. Kaoru reached for my hand, but I walked away. Kyoya sighed as everyone glared at him.

I found myself in the woods. I didn't remember ever having gotten there. I didn't even remember my way back. I just kept walking.

Eventually, I sat down against a tree. I hate me. I was thinking so much that I didn't hear the twig snap behind me.

***

I felt as if I was falling, but staying in place. Like someone was carrying me or something.

"Shit..."

Someone mumbled. It sounded like Mori-Senpai. I opened my eyes. When had I ever fallen asleep?

"Lari-Chan!" "You found her!" "Thank God she's alright!" "Oh my God!" "I'm so sorry!" "I was so worried!" "I swear if she ever does that again..."

All of them screamed different replies to my appearance. I flinched at all the noise and curled into Mori's arms. "I'll take her home now, Mori." It was Kaoru.

I felt myself being transferred into smaller, a little weaker arms. But they held me all the same. I clutched his shirt, hoping to never leave. It was so warm, I almost smiled.

Kaoru carried me to the limo and sat down with me in his lap. "I was so worried." I heard Hikaru sigh after both car doors slammed shut. "Yeah. Me too." Kaoru whispered. "Do you think she'll eat anything when we get home?" Hikaru asked after a bit. Kaoru shrugged. "Just depends, I suppose."

It does depend...