When the heart betrays

Yes or No?

Can you answer a couple questions for me?

Is it bad that I carry the exact number of pills to kill me and then some to make sure the job gets done?

Is it bad that the only thing binding me to this world is slipping through my fingers?

Is it bad that I don't care about how anyone will feel anymore?

Is it bad that all I'm thinking is soon I'll  be done with this?

Is it bad that I want to blame you for giving me that final push?

Is it bad that I'm happy this happened so it will be easier for me?

Is it bad or is it just selfish?