The Broken Boy (AMANDA)

When I Felt The Music

I jump out the car almost face planting into the pavement. I rush to find Riley. I can't find him. Where would he be... I know. I run out to the field. I see his black hoodie in the field he has headphones on. I walk over and I scare him. He lets out a weird man scream and then ends it with his awkward laugh. God I love his laugh. "What are you listening to?" He hands me the headphones. I put them on. Wow. Lionel Richie. Wow. My face lights up. "I love Lionel Richie!!!" "You do?!" "I'm a sucker for oldies! And... Can I talk about something with you..." I sit next to him and he looks me straight in the eyes. My number one weakness, looking someone in the eyes. "I told my parents." The light was sucked out of his face. "Here one thing you need to know is that I can't hide nothing... They were okay as long as we don't kiss." I smile. "Amanda I'm breaking up with you..." "What... I'm so sorry..." " Just kidding!" I punch him in the arm " that's not funny!" We laugh together. The bell rings. Finally my mind is at ease.
    First period was a breeze. I made the geography bee... Yay? Celine kept teasing me about Riley,"You're going to make your man very proud!" " Shut up!"
    During second period they actually made an announcement worth my time ,"Sign ups for the talent show start tomorrow morning and end on January nineteenth." I want to do it so bad!!! But at the same time I'm scared out of my mind. Maybe I can get someone to sing with me... Riley!!!!!
    I wait anxiously for 4th period. 3rd period which was PE was actually really easy. The ground was wet so we didn't do any exercise we just did ping pong. I walked to math with Albert today since the tension kind of died down after the incident. "How the heck did that happen?!" "What me and Riley?" "Yeah!" "Well I punched this guy who was beating him up and the rest is history." His gives me his signature what?! Look "You punched a guy?!" "What you don't think I can win a fight?" "No!" I punch him in the arm and walk into math.
    Riley was there already. I was at least thee minutes early. I come over to talk to him, "Did you hear the announcements this morning?" "What about them?" "Talent show sign ups!" I smile. "NOOOOOOO if that's what you're asking." "Why not?!" "Are you crazy!" "Don't worry your super talented! You can do it." I give him the puppy eye look. "Please..." "If you do it with me." "Babe of course I will." He reaches over to kiss me, but stops remembering what I said and laughs. Like music to my ears. I don't know what's more beautiful his singing or his laugh. Both warm my heart. I get Brianna's silver pen and write on my arm:

||My head is stuck in the clouds
She begs me to come down
Says, "Boy, quit foolin' around"
I told her, "I love the view from up here
Warm sun and wind in my ear
We'll watch the world from above
As it turns to the rhythm of love"

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun, you're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love||

After class I told Riley "We should come up with some ideas for the talent show at lunch." "Sure! In the field?" "Where else!" " K see you later!" "Later." I skip into science and I almost run into Austin. "Oh my gosh sorry!" "It's fine. What haven't you texted me?!" " I'm grounded again." "Why?" "What do you think..." "Oooo ouch..." That's his trademark. "Yeahhhh..."
    Science was boring. When the bell rang I was the first one out the door.
    I eat lunch with everyone, but Riley was really quiet. Yeah he's shy but he's gotten pretty comfortable with the puppies. "Ry you okay?" "Yeah I just don't feel very good." "You wanna go to the nurse?" "No, I'm fine." He looks flushed and his eyes look dark and cold. I worry about him. I finish lunch and we go out to the field.
    "So what song should we do?" "Depends. What feel are you going for?" "I think something slower, your voice is very smooth and I could try to sound more like a girl." Hmmm... Easy by Lionel Richie. I listened to it this morning. It's been in my head all day." "Love it! Do you know the lyrics?" "Oh course!" I sit closer and we sing.

||Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain
Girl I'm leaving you tomorrow
Seems to me girl
You know I've done all I can
You see I begged, stole
And I borrowed

Ooh, that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning

|When we sing I feel sparks flying, the magic. I look at him and we smile. This is love.|

Why in the world
Would anybody put chains on me?
I've paid my dues to make it
Everybody wants me to be
What they want me to be
I'm not happy when I try to fake it!
No!

Ooh,that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm eas---||

I keep singing but I don't hear him... I look over and I see he's bent over coughing. He can't catch his breath. "Riley! Ry you okay?!" "I can't breathe..." " Oh my God! No... Here we need to take you to the nurse." I put his arm around my shoulder. I pick him up and try to walk across the field. He was too heavy. I fall on my wrist. I hold in a scream. I run to the basket ball court where Austin and Jacob were playing basketball and told them I need help. They carried him to the nurses office. As the nurse takes Riley in the room the door closes. I pound on the door. They didn't let me in. I sit next to the door. I start balling. I finally get up and go to the quad. I need warmth. I need someone with me. The light in my heart was burned out and I'm frozen solid. I get to their table and they come over to me. I can't speak. I have to take a breather. "Amanda relax!" Zoe is screaming at me and just shut out everything. Pain. Friends. Thoughts. Gone.
    They gather around me. Their warmth can't even thaw my frozen heart. "He couldn't breathe! One second he was singing and then when I looked over and was on his hands and knees and..." Jesus surprisingly tries to cheer me up. "It's okay..." He comes behind me and hugs me from behind and rubs my arm. "Everything is going to be okay." I smile. "You don't thinks he's gonna..." "Of course not." I don't know what I'd do without them.
    I couldn't sleep all night. If I closed my eyes I would just wake up sweating and crying from a nightmare. My thoughts took over. I look at the clock in the living room. I'm at my moms house. It's 3:36am...ugh. Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day. I sit on the couch. I couldn't take it anymore I had to keep myself occupied since sleep is not an option. I turn on the tv. Some informercial was on for a workout program. I turn on George Lopez. Maybe some comedy will cheer me up. I watch at least four episodes. I was starting to drift in and out of conscienceless when all of a sudden I hear something in the kitchen. I grab a candle stick. (Don't judge) I hear it again. The sound is coming from a drawer. I open it. It's my phone. My mom must of put it in there when she grounded me. I got a text message. It was from Riley. 
    I read the message."Hey it's Riley. I'm sorry about the today. I had a bad asthma attack. I promise I'll make it up to you. I love you and I'll see you soon 😘 oops sorry 👫" I smile and I feel a tear run down my face. Thousands of pounds were lifted off my shoulders. I just wish I could say something back. No. I want to talk to him in real life. I want to feel his warmth and hear his voice. I sit back on the couch and fall asleep.
    I woke up that morning. I put on an arm brace. I took a pretty hard fall yesterday.My anxiety levels went down, and I finally gained control of my thoughts. I walk into school with my earbuds in. I really don't want to hear people talking about what happened. But I do walk over to Austin to thank him. "Thank you so much for what you did yesterday. I can't possibly repay you." "Ah it's no problem. You do enough for me." "What do I do for you?!" He stands in silence for a minute. I laugh "That's what I thought!" "You keep me company. You can actually hold a conversation!" I smile. Wow someone actually is appreciative of me. He smiles back, nods his head and laughs.  We are so awkward sometimes. I walk to the bench and sit down I put my headphones back in and I play "our" song. It helps me cope.

||Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain
Girl I'm leaving you tomorrow
Seems to me girl
You know I've done all I can
You see I begged, stole
And I borrowed

Ooh, that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday mornin||

    I go through my day with my head held high. Fake it til you make it; am I right. I go to math with some hope. I sit in my seat constantly glancing at the door. Maybe he'll come. Maybe.
    He didn't come that day. Or the next one. Finally the weekend came. I sat in my bed and listened to music and stared at the wall counting down the hours until Monday. The day hopefully I will see those deep brown eyes and that crooked smile. His awkward laugh would fill the air.

||Well, I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of dust
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun

But I'll kneel down,
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down,
Know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you||


Monday came so fast. Maybe it was the anticipation or the music or simply sleeping in until 2 ,but who cares... It's Monday!!!!
    I jump out of bed I curl my hair and put on my floral crop top with a cut out in the back with my faded aéropastle  jeans. I look like a girl... What has happened to me!!!! To keep my sanity I put on Chuck Taylor's. I look at myself in the mirror. I tried so hard to be beautiful and yet... I still don't feel beautiful. What on earth does he see. Is he blind?! My dad yells for me to go downstairs. He says,"You teenager." and I roll my eyes. I get into the car and I stare at the window. Maybe he will come today. Just maybe...
   My anxiety levels were through the roof. I couldn't sit still the first two periods. When PE came around you would think I took happy pills and overdosed because I was so happy. I run to everyone and give them a hug. They would stare at me. Their faces said,"What the heck is wrong with her?!" After all I'm usually a mess when third period comes around. During PE I ran the fastest I could, be the strongest I can be, and bent the farthest I could bend. Mr Martin finally came up to me with a confused face and said,"Why can't you always be like this?! Slacker..." I laugh. See what love does you. I walk to math singing,


||My head is stuck in the clouds
She begs me to come down
Says, "Boy, quit foolin' around"
I told her, "I love the view from up here
Warm sun and wind in my ear
We'll watch the world from above
As it turns to the rhythm of love"

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun, you're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love.||