The Broken Boy (AMANDA)

When There Was An End

*Riley's prospective*

||You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in
Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through,
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you,
I'm here for you||

I feel her head on my shoulder and look down. My heart drops. "HELP!" She was asleep. I shake her violently. Her eyes blink slowly as the doctors come in. "You need to leave." "Don't! Don't let him leave!" The room grows quiet. She grasps my hand. "Impossible." The doctor stares at her in awe.

*Amanda's prospective*

My mind is clouded by confusion. "Why would you make him leave?" "Um uh your memory was about to be erased with a chance of death... This boy shaved your life." My heart is racing this is a lot to take in. I almost died? Riley saved me. Impossible? The doctors check my levels and run a few tests and leave in shock. The minute the door closes Riley hugs me tight and starts sobbing. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" "Ry relax. Its all over." I sing in his ear the song he sang me.

|| Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through,
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you,
I'm here for you||

I have to stay awake until a specialist comes in the morning because I'm supposedly "special". He was coming around 10am. We still have a long time to go.
   This is when we both hit our drunk state. "Riley did you ever notice you have a peanut shaped birthmark on your neck?" "Did you ever notice a cloud shaped birthmark on your eye Amanda René?" Its true I do have a "birthmark" on my eye. Nobody really knows what it is. It's a little coincidental that I have terrible eye site. We discuss politics (even though I know nothing about it), the meaning of annoying pop songs, and argued why I hate the color orange over a root beer. "ORANGE IS AGAINST THE LAW!" The rest of the night was a blur. All I remember after that is going through Instagram after 5am since Riley fell asleep on the floor.
    The specialist came in and ran a few tests like the other doctor last night. "I don't know how this happened... What usually happens is you fall asleep and you go into a dark deep sleep and it erases most of your personal memory... Its truly a miracle." I smile at Riley who was groggily smiling. He just woke up about 5 minutes before. "Seems like everything is good, take it easy for a few days, and... You can sleep now, just be careful." Finally I can get some sleep! He leaves and I hug Riley. "We did it!" Then I remember something. "Riley you missed school!" "Eh... Its okay. I'm more needed here." "Riley your grades are down. I'm sorry I got you pulled into this mess. I'm so stupid." He grabs my arms,"No you're not! Here get some sleep, we leave in an hour. I think your mom is still asleep." "Okay..." I can't deny. I've never been so exhausted in my life! We lay back and instantly knock out.
    Sleep. Deep sleep.
    I walk down a white hallway. All I can hear is a distant conversation. "Flatline! He's not responding!" "NO! PLEASE HELP!" The second voice was one I recognised. A chill went down my spine. It's me.
    I wake up sobbing. "Amanda what's wrong? Babe it's okay!" He hugs me tight and I realise my mom is sitting across from me. She didn't look worried. Or sad. She looked mad. Not like enraged or anything but that look when your around family and you did something bad look. I regain my focus. "Amanda what happened?" He's stroking my arm. I cling onto his neck and squeeze him tight. It was him. It was him! What's going to happen? Is this real? "Bad dream." "It's not real. We're all here. Okay?" "Okay." I'm not okay.
   My mom gets up sternly, picks up her phone, and leaves the room with an ending slam of the door. All hell breaks lose in my mind. All the ghosts of yesterday, phantoms of now, and the demons I fear for the future. "NO! NO! NO!" The machines rage. I see the blood rates sky rocket. "BABE RELAX! YOUR LEVELS ARE UP!" "YOU DIED! MY MOM! THE FAMILY! YELLING! AH!" The room spins below me. All I hear is distant voices. I continue screaming. And screaming. I get up out of bed, standing on one foot, ripping the cords out my arm. "IM DONE WITH THIS $&@!" As I fumble backwards Riley catches me, carries me over his shoulder to the and pins me to the bed. "STOP! JUST STOP!" He broke out into ragged sobs. I woke up from a trance realising what had just happened. "Oh my God babe I'm sorry. It just happened. I couldn't control it." He wiped his tears on his sleeve. He hung his head in silence. "Babe? Are you okay? I'm sorry." He shook his head.
"Keep holding on. Cause you know we'll make it though. Just stay strong," I sang. The ragged sobs turned into a silent cry. He responded, Cause you know I'm here for you. Im here for you." He looks up and smiles. It's amazing what a simple song can do. I didn't find that song until well after it was popular since I was quite young to be listening to an alternative singer when it came out. I came across it a few months before Riley and l met and make a strange connection to it. Wasn't sure what kind of connection it was. Life was pretty dull at the time. Not much conflict. It might sound crazy but j think I felt a miracle coming. You know birthday and you kind of know in the back of your head you're going to get the shiny red bicycle. It was like that. No, I didn't know I would get in a fist fight with a random dude and meet the love down. when I saw those brown eyes pleading for help I knew I would never leave his side He takes my hands and says words l will never forget as long as I live, something... "We're both bound to die faster than we thought... Haha But that's okay. I'm in love. I'd rather die in love than in hatred. Love is life, hatred is death. So in reality, I won't die because my love is infinite and existent. No matter what happens between us in the next few years, deep down I will always love you, and that will keep me alive."
    I came to realisation that nothing went according to plan. That may sound weird because when does anything go according to plan to be honest, but when I was younger I always planned out my future like I had a clue. I'm only 13 and I already destroyed all my plans. So all I can do now is accept, reflect, and carry on. Having a boyfriend early on, or going to public school wasn't in my original plan, but it all works out. I'm still happy.
  I woke up on my mom's couch. Pillows covered the floor and the room felt cold. I think I'm home alone. I'm hungry, yet slightly hungover. I swing my legs over the couch, I can't find my crutches anywhere. Nice. Hair obstructed at least two quarters of my field of view. I sweep the hair back in a ponytail... Wait... Where's my necklace? I panic. It's not on the table. Not in the couch either. My frantic hand comes across my phone. I check it. 5:09pm. I don't even remember falling asleep. I had a message from Celine. It read,"Jesus Christ, Amanda! Riley told me what happened! You scared the s$&@ Out of me you pancake!" Riley has celine's number? I'm surprised he hasn't called me. Two to three calls were usually made on the typical agenda with him. I probably should check in with him, something seems strange. The phone didn't ring long before he picks up.

"Hello?" I'm not one to speak first but there was a slight void of silence.

"I'm not really in the mood to talk right now, Amanda."

"Ry is everything okay?"

"YOURE FINE WITH THIS? SO IT WAS ALL AN ACT! MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT! YOU LITTLE SON OF A B$&@!"

He hung up. Of course. Of course this happens. Nothing perfect can stay. It just can't. I'm too stupid to realise that too. It freaking hurts. Oblivion to an extreme, getting comfortable. At the same time I can't sit around and mope, I have a life to live. Other people have to worse. I screwed up somehow (not 100% sure how) and I just need to accept it. I'll support him since after all, I do love him. I love him... They say if you love something set it free... I don't want to. Do I? Adults have always told me this, so it's correct? Should I trust them? Since when do you take such statements into account? Is your ignorance the way to go? Questions stir in my mind. This all happened so sudden. I jumped to conclusions awfully fast, when I really don't even know what the hell is going on. I'm confused.
    
//And as of now, that's it! Tell me
If you'd like any more!
- Amanda