(NAOMI)
We stand around a hole in the ground, while it pisses down with rain.
Everyone (Me, Joe, Natalie, this random guy Natalie brought (I think his name is Dylan Sprayberry), Jibbles, Stiles (we call Dylan O'Brien that now since we have two Dylan's), and Kayne) is wearing black, except for Miley who wears bright green and pink – for watermelon.
Waterfalls stream down her face. Watermelon was Miley's one true love. The fact that she was the one to find her dead was gobsmacking.
No one knows who murdered her – but Miley will not stop until she finds the killer.
We throw in some precious things to be with watermelon.
Joe and I throw in a peach. Natalie and Dylan put in a bag of cocaine. Jibbles and Stiles chuck a blow up doll of Selena Gomez. Kayne places a dildo in.
"RIP dawg." He whispers.
The boys start to fill the hole, Miley breaking down. Snot flies everywhere as she cries and cries.
We try to comfort her, but if we get too close, we will be covered in snot. And we do not want that.
We start to share fond memories of her.
"I remember when watermelon rolled out of the ocean, right into our arms."
"I remember when she went to Mars and brought back an alien boyfriend."
"Hated that cunt. Glad I killed him." Miley mutters.
Suddenly as we're almost finished, two people come bursting into our space, yelling "JOHN CENAAAA"
"FUCK OFF HARRY" I yell, as she trudges all over watermelons grave.
"Who the fuck is that?" Natalie asks, pointing at the other ugly fucker.
"This is Nash Grier. My boyfriend." Harry says, pulling the boy towards him.
"Ew. More like – TRASH Grier." Jibbles scoffs.
"YOU KILLED WATERMELON" Miley screams, lunging herself at Harry.
"Get off her!" Trash yells, trying to pull Miley off Harry but it was no use, she was too busy scratching her eyeballs out.
Everyone stood still in silence until Miley was done and brushed her hands off.
"That's for murdering my girlfriend you wanker." She spits in her face.
"I didn't do nothin!" Harry cries like a baby.
"Come on bitches, let's go home." Miley announces, shoving everyone in the monster truck.
She puts the truck on full revs and runs over Harry and Trash while leaving.
We decide to go to Kayne's instead of home since we live in a giant pumpkin, but Kayne lives in a mansion that is worth 500 trillion dollars.
Miley finds herself a room and locks herself in there to cry.
"Don't do anything stupid in there!!!" Natalie yells.
"People. I would like you to meet my wife – Kim Kardashian West." Kayne says as we enter the kitchen.
"What's up motherfuckers." She says, then giving us a toothy smile.
"Her bum is almost as big as mine." I hear Dylan whisper to Natalie, who giggles – and then chokes.
"You guys can live here if you want. We have 10,000 bedrooms, so you can pick whatever." He tells us.
"Thanks bro." Joe and Stiles say, giving him a fist bump.
"LETS GO SWIMMING!!!!!!" Natalie screams, as we strip off to our togs and run outside.
We all jump into the pool, grabbing inflatable swans and donuts.
"Are you gonna live here?" I ask Joe.
He shrugs. "I mean, why the hell not?"
"Cool! Me too!" I say.
We stare at each other for a few seconds, the sky suddenly changing from dark and gloomy to a red and orange sunset.
"You know, the past few hours that I've known you for, have been pretty crazy. We've been to countless parties and clubs, we live with Kim and Kayne, watermelon DIED and Harry and Trash are plotting their revenge against us this very second!" He exclaims.
"Are you saying you're gonna leave?" I ask sadly.
He shakes his head. "Fuck no. This is the most interesting few hours of my LIFE. And besides, there's you."
My face turns beet red (even though Beetroot is purple like wtf people) and I lean in to give him a kiss.
The kiss only lasts for a couple of seconds, because suddenly someone screams "SHIT IN THE POOL!!!!"
We all thrash around to get out, screaming our heads off.
I spot the shit, floating a few meters away from me. "NOOOO" I scream as i furiously try to push myself up to get out of the pool.
Two hands grab my arms, and pull me out with ease. I look up and see Joe with a smile.
"YOU SAVED MY LIFE" I exclaim, throwing my arms around him and hugging him tightly.
"OH MY GOD NAOMI ARE YOU OK??!!?!?!!!!" Natalie yells.
"Yep!" I reply.
When we go inside, Kayne cleans the shit out and puts it in a container. Maybe he was a shit collector.
We go upstairs to check on Miley, knocking on the door.
"Miley, you ok in there???" We ask.
The doorknob twists open, and WHOOSH, a river of tears gushes out from the room, pushing us backwards and down the stairs.
"Sorry about that guys." Miley says as she steps out, her clothes soaked.
"At least it wasn't piss"
Miley's eyes widen, and then she runs down the stairs and out of the house.
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[–A]
