(NAOMI)
I woke up surrounded by glitz and glamour.
Was I still at the casino?
No...
Well then were the fuck am I????
I sat up on the bed and looked out the door to see a bunch of people in the living room.
Natalie, Miley, Watermelon, and even Jibbles and Dylan were there.
And......Joe????
What the flippin fuck happened?
"Hi mum." Someone says.
"What the FUCk?!?!" I exclaim since it gave me a fright.
Kayne West stands in the corner of the room. "How do you feel?"
"I'm fine...?" I say, extremely confused. "Wait, why did you call me mum?"
"I don't know. I call everyone mum." Kayne says. "Even my kids."
"Ok.... Where am I?" I ask.
"In my crib. C'mon, your friends are out here." He points to the door.
We go out to the living room, Natalie spotting me first.
"OH YOU LITTLE FUCKER" she yells, punching me in the face.
"WHAT THE FUCK NAT?????" I scream.
"I thought you were dead." She sobs.
"So why did you punch me in the face??" I ask.
She shrugs her shoulders. "LOOK!" She exclaims, pointing to more than 100 VS shopping bags.
I roll my eyes. Typical Natalie.
"Oh precious Naomi." Miley cries, running over and twerking on me. (It was her way of hugging)
"We were so worried, you ugly shit." Watermelon says, liquid running down her outside. I couldn't tell if she was crying, or taking a piss. Oh well, we'll never know.
Jibbles yells out. "YO NAOMI SO GLAD YOUR ALIVE!" As she eats a bowl full of baby lettuce.
"THANKS DUDE."
"Sorry for almost killing you." Joe says, looking at me sympathetically.
"Hey, man. It's not your fault you're so attractive." I say, patting him on the shoulder.
"Yo you guys want some Starbucks?" Kayne asks.
Natalie and I exchange glances. "HELL FUCKIN YEAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
?~\!|¥\!|¥\?|€.!\¥
After Starbucks, we head to a Ferris wheel in Vegas, since Kayne knew a guy who could get us on for free.
"Alright guys, go in pairs." He tells us.
"I'll go with Kayne." Natalie volenteers. "So you can teach me how to become rich."
Jibbles and Dylan obviously go together – those two are insepreble. I think they have a invisible string attached to each other's bums.
Miley and Watermelon go together, which leaves me and Joe.
ALLGOOD MATE !
We talk about random shit while we make our way up to the top, and he's officially my favourite British person in the world.
He puts his arm around me, makin me blush a lil. oooooooooooooo.
Just as we reach the top, I hear screaming from the cart next to us.
The fuck was going on.
Suddenly the wheel came to a halt, making me scream.
I looked down and saw Natalie and Kayne with terrified looks on their faces. So did Jibbles and Dylan.
Wait.... Where was Miley and watermelon!?!?!?!???
OH MY FUCK
MILEY WAS HANGING FROM THE CART IN FRONT OF US
Watermelon was crying (or peeing idk) and calling out for help.
"Oh fuck fuck fuck duck fuck." I say.
"What are they gonna do??" Joe asks.
Miley's grip loosens, all of us screaming at her to hold on now.
"I LOVE YOU WATERMELON!!!!" She cries out. All of us gasp.
What a scandal.
MILEY FALLS, HER LEGS AND ARMS FLYING ABOUT.
I let out a scream, watching her fall.
Suddenly, she inflates her bum, and it becomes a massive pillow. She hits the ground with a BOING and slowly deflates.
"Oh, thank fuck for that" I say.
We reach the bottom, running to her.
"I knew this thing would come in handy one day." She says proudly.
Watermelon looks in shock.
"Did you - did you really mean what you said?" She asks.
"Ok! Time to go!" Kayne yells out, as we go to leave them in peace.
I never knew what happened, but I wouldn't be surprised if Miley fucked that watermelon.
