(NATALIE)
"Right, so you're telling me that twerk ass over there, smashed a water melon over Selena Gomez and now watermelon is resurrected ?"
"Yes." I say to the police officer who interviewed me mid-high. "But it turns out that the whole time her name was Jennifer, we just called her water melon."
"Okay, well everything seems to be completely normal here, thank you for your time." She replies looking satisfied with her work. Dumb bitch didn't even notice Kanye and Kim bathing in cocaine in the background.
"So this looks pricey!" I say as I make my way to edge of the new indoor cocaine spa.
"Yeah we sold your boyfriend for it sweetie!" Kim says before burying her face in the thick white powder.
"You sold Dylan?!" I exclaim.
"Yup! And boy did he make money rain!" Kayne screams bombing off a diving board.
"Well who the fuck did you sell him to? Obviously I need him back!
We're fart buddies" I sob.
"Alright alright, give us 5mins and we will pull up the eBay page that we sold him on." Kim says.
I storm out of the room and slam my head on Miley's ass.
"Why why why why why why" I say as it rebounds off the twerker.
"There there." Miley says as she gives my head a pat while I snot cry into her ass.
"We have to find him." I mutter angrily. I start to twitch and fart profusely.
"We will don't worry." Miley says putting a hand on my tit.
*
"These were guys we sold your gassy boy to" Kayne says pointing at the computer screen.
"Oh my god" I say.
"That's Harry and Nash." Naomi screams as she runs into Joes chest absolutely terrified and scarred.
Both of the boys long hair is enough for anyone to be scared.
"I can't imagine what they are doing to him!" I say enraged.
"Everyone! To the monster truck!" Jennifer yells.
We all pile in but only just enough of us can fit in. It's pretty squished in the back.
We drive for a few miles aimlessly until we realised that we have no idea where the fuck we are going.
"Wait does anyone know where they will be keeping Dylan ?"
We all shake our heads no.
"Well shit." I say frustrated.
We decide to drive into to town to that club that we last saw Harry at, however along the way we get stopped by police officer.
"Well good eveni- WOAH THAT IS A LOT OF PASSENGERS, EVEN FOR A MONSTER TRUCK. Miss I'm going to have to get you to step out of the vehicle." The police officer exclaims to Miley who is driving.
"In your dreams fuckass" Miley says as she grabs me and flys the door open which smacks the cop down on the ground.
Miley then throws me on her back, like a piggy back and starts to twerk. Her ass fills with air and she starts getting further an further away from the ground.
"You guys head to the club while the cop is out cold, we will meet you there!" She yells below to Naomi who decides to drive the car from this point onwards.
I had to hold on for dear life when travelling with Miley but I was fully supported by her blown up ass. I guess it's just the movement where she pretty much uses her ass cheeks as wings that throws me off.
Not throwing me off literally though thank Jesus pumpkin pie.
It takes us 15mins to get to the club and it's a bit of a rough landing be we were able to land on the roof and get in through the top. That's one way to cut those lines.
As soon as I get into the club I search like a mad horse for the two transgenders and my very gassy boyfriend.
I search for what feels like hours but really it's just a few seconds of walking in circles.
I suddenly see long dark locks dancing next to a boy with dark blonde hair that has a full face of make up on and is wearing the most ugly leopard print dress I've ever seen.
"No. Please tell me they haven't." I say as I approach them.
I shove Trash Grier out of the way smacking one of his stitches from his Brazilian butt lift out. I also knock Harry out while I'm at it.
"What have they done to you!?" I say to Dylan as he looks at me looking as happy and relived as ever.
"Boy am I glad to see you!" He says as a plants a heavy lipstick full kiss on my cheek. I smudge it away slightly shocked.
"I hate this colour on you!" I say before pulling him into me and holding him tight.
We race out of the club and into the monster truck.
"So what actually happened to you?" I ask Dylan as we drive home.
"They tried to cross dress me and use me as their barbie doll!" He sulks.
"Oh it's okay, we will get you back to your usual self." I say before letting a long one rip.
He replies with an even louder fart.
We both smile and continue to have a fart competition the whole way home.
