(NAOMI)
"You can't be fucking serious."
Is what I say when Miley asks Natalie and I to help her kidnap Selena Gomez.
"Have you gone out of you freaking mind??" Natalie gasps. "I'll still do it though. Don't have anything else to do."
"NATALIE WE CANNOT KIDNAP SELENA GOMEZ!!!!" I yell.
"I have a plan guys. It's gonna work I promise." Miley says, on her knees begging.
I narrow my eyes crossing my arms.
"NAOMI I WILL SHIT IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH IF YOU DONT HELP US" Miley suddenly shouts in a demonic voice.
"Okay! Okay! I'll help!" I say, scared shitless.
"Great!" She squeals, throwing us in the monster truck and speeding to Selena Gomez's house.
We roll up (rip watermelon) to Selena's crib in five seconds, since she is neighbours with Kayne.
Miley knocks on the door, getting no answer.
"This bitch." She mutters, then pulls out a sledge hammer that is bigger than her.
BOOM
Miley knocks down the door and storms into Selena's house.
Natalie and I share a glance, but we still follow.
Security guards pour in, pointing their guns at us.
"OH SHIT WE'RE FUCKED NOW!" Natalie screams.
"But wait.....!" Miley yells.
She floats in the air, and aims her bum at each of the guards, spraying them with her gas. They all pass out, probably dead.
Miley goes back on the floor, and wipes her hands.
"That's how you do it."
She strolls through the house, us trailing behind her.
We open a door to find Selena riding a llama with a bright yellow bikini on.
"AHHHHH ITS BLINDING!!!" Natalie and I exclaim, falling backwards.
Miley storms up to Selena and pulls her off the horse, throwing her over her shoulder.
"Miley! What are you gonna do with her?!" I call out.
Miley puts Selena on a table, and storms over to her fridge, taking out a watermelon.
Natalie gasps. "Oh fuck. Shit is about to get REAL!"
She holds up the watermelon, and chants out some jibberish "BDKSBSKSBEODBSKDBKSBDKDBWKSBSKDBSJNSKBDKSBDKSBSKBSKDBSKDBSKFBKSBSLABDOSBDKSBEKDBSKDBSKDBSKBDKSBDKSBSJSNSKDBKSBXKSXKSBDKSBDKSNXKBDKNSKDNJSNSNKSBDJS RISE WATERMELON RISE DHAKDBJSSN"
And CRACK the watermelon is slammed down on Selena's head.
She passes out, falling off the table.
"For fucks sake Miley, you just killed Selena Gomez!" I exclaim.
"Wait for it." She whispers.
Suddenly Selena's eyes open, but instead of being brown they are bright green, and her bikini is now pink.
She stands up, and looks around.
"AYYYYYY WHATS UP BITCHESSSSSSS!!!! BACK FROM THE DEAD!"
Oh.
My.
God.
"WATERMELON!" We all yell, throwing ourselves at her, squeezing the life out of her.
"Please. Call me Jennifer." She says, holding her hand up.
Miley stands with tears.
"BABY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!" She yells, and hugs Jennifer tightly.
"I missed you too." She replies, slapping her flat ass.
"We should probably leave them... You know, do their thing." Natalie mutters, grabbing my arm, and pulling me away.
We head back home, joining up with the gang.
"Where's Miley?" Jibbles asks.
"Fucking Selena Gomez." Natalie says, grabbing a bowl of guacamole and shoving it in her mouth.
"Jennifer, Natalie. It's Jennifer now." I say, as everyone gives us blank stares.
I explain everything about kidnapping Selena and using her body to ressurect watermelon, and that she's now called Jennifer.
"That's dope." Joe says.
"Where's Kayne?" Stiles asks.
Kim slides across the tiles to us, her bum bumping into Dylan, and knocking him over like a bowling pin.
"I haven't seen him." Kim says.
"Weird." I mumble.
///
[–A]
